


Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

by 0urhappygirl500



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I just like the idea of these two being friends, Jason is Steph's biggest fan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-04-12 13:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 31,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19132861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0urhappygirl500/pseuds/0urhappygirl500
Summary: "So let me get this straight," Barbara said rubbing her eyes and looking so, so tiered."You actually died, you didn't fake your death you died." Barbara stated and Steph really couldn't tell if it was anger or sadness lacing her voice at this point "and you're saying Jason dug you up and brought you back from the dead after you actually died! Because he was lonely?""I mean... who isn't sometimes right?" Steph tried because she doubted she could make the situation that much worse.





	1. Chapter 1

The sad thing is, Steph thinks ruefully, is that she was actually having a nice night. She’d been having a good day having finally finished her last assignment before the summer and she’d made it on time for all her classes then for her nightly activities she’d stopped a couple of muggings and was making some progress in getting Robin to make a joke over the coms.

 

Hey it had been a slow night for all of them so she wasn’t being ‘distracting’ like Bruce implied, she had to keep things light around Damian now that Dick had gone back to being Nightwing or the kid was never going to learn how to smile. Though maybe she should have listened to Bruce, maybe the fact that is was a slow night for all of them was a hint towards the fact that her night was about to go sideways, because when was she ever allowed to have nice things?

 

True she thought things were about to get a whole lot more difficult in general when Tim sent out the alert that the League of Assassin’s were in Gotham for some reason but she hadn’t thought things would get a whole lot difficult for her specifically.

 

Maybe it was that assumption that jinxed her because just as she was about to head over to where Cass was fighting some Assassin goons a chillingly familiar voice called out to her.

 

“Hello Stephanie,” Steph felt the hair on the back of her neck rise as she turned around and saw the one and only Talia al Ghul standing on the roof top as if she had been waiting for Steph to run by. Maybe she had, maybe she knew she’d run after Cass before the others and the assassins sent to each person were deliberately to get her alone.

 

She wouldn’t put it past Talia; she wouldn’t put anything past Talia.

 

“Batgirl, your heart rate just spiked what’s your situation?” Oracle’s voice filtered into her ear thawing whatever ice had kept Steph frozen like a dear in the head lights, slowly not taking her eyes off Talia she brought her a hand up to her com, she didn’t need to but Barbara’s voice almost felt like a lifeline from the panic swirling through her.

 

“Soooooo,” Steph began dragging out the word slowly to see if Talia would react to her talking on the coms, when Talia made no motion to show she was annoyed or about to move Steph took that as a sign for her to continue. “Talia al Ghul is standing on a roof with me,” Steph reported mentally berating herself that that was the way she was reporting this.

 

“What!?”

 

Steph resisted the urge to flinch as Oracle hissed in surprise and instead tried to focus on the instructions that followed. “Nightwing and Red Robin are on their way, Robin’s finished with his hostiles and might be there if Batman doesn’t stop him in time. Retreat if you can, if you can’t try to keep her talking *don’t* engage. Talia is not someone you can beat.”

 

“I know,” Steph said trying to push down her annoyance because well it was the truth.

 

Steph doubted that Talia just happened to run into her and she especially doubted that she could get away from the lady who bossed around a bunch of assassins and also raised Damian. Which left talking until someone more interesting to Talia showed up and took her attention off of Steph.

 

Talking, Steph could do talking.

 

“Well this is a pleasant surprise! Nice night tonight or as nice as you can get in Gotham I guess, sorry I don’t really have anything prepared didn’t know you were coming if I did I would have totally at least brought a thermos of tea or some snacks or something, can I interest you in a protein bar?” Steph rambled because when did she ever do things tactfully? Hoping at least she wasn’t annoying Talia enough to the point where she decided killing her would be more lucrative than whatever she had singled Steph out for.

 

Thankfully though Talia was just looking her the way she always did, like a parent looking at the puppy they had bought for their kid to expend their excess energy on chase its own tail. Steph bit her lip so hard she was almost worrying about drawing blood; Damian’s parents sure had a habit of testing her own feelings of self worth.

 

“That’s quite alright I won’t be long, I’m merely hoping to get in contact with your brother,” Talia said straight to the point as always though leaving her more confused than before she had started speaking, another similarity Damian’s parents had.

 

“Um, last time I checked I was an only child?” Steph stated because she didn’t think Arthur or Crystal Brown had any secret children at least she hoped they didn’t her family history was already a mess and she had dealt with enough family drama for a life time, and that wasn’t even including her involvement in weekly episodes of keeping up with the Wayne’s.

 

Talia raised a slight eyebrow almost looking amused before clarifying her statement “Jason Todd has been neglecting to check in with me, you can imagine why this is unacceptable,” Talia noted and Steph felt herself let out a strangled laugh as the situation finally began to make sense in her mind.

 

Using her as a pawn in order to get to one of the Batboys seemed to be another thing Damian’s parents had in common.

“Oh wow, I know it’s hard to keep track since the B-man has like 50 kids but you do know I’m not one of them right?” Steph said through awkward laughter as the situation became clearer and clearer, all she could hope is that Bab’s listening in wouldn’t guess the reason for her panicked laughter.

 

Talia raised an eyebrow making it clear that Steph wasn’t fooling her in the least, not that Steph was expecting to. She had been there when *it* happened hadn’t she? Or at the very least she had been there afterwards. Steph wasn’t entirely sure about the specifics of what was going on around her in that short stretch of time. She’d been a little busy either screaming or crying.

 

“You’re asking the wrong person Talia” Nightwing’s voice rang out as he jumped down to the roof they were on and Steph had to hold in the sigh of relief that Dick had just interrupted whatever Talia was about to say not just because Steph wasn’t ready to even have this conversation but she *really* wasn’t ready for everyone else listening in to hear this conversation and follow it up with an even worse conversation.

 

“None of us have had contact with Red Hood since he broke out of Arkham and Batgirl hasn’t had contact with him period,” Dick said and god she hoped he missed the ‘look’ Talia gave her, the ‘am I really supposed to believe this shit?’ look and wow did Steph wish she could exit out of this conversation and situation right now.

 

“Regardless the boy owes me a favor and him checking in with me every so often should be his way of repaying it,” Talia said clearly done now that she wouldn’t be able to torment Steph alone.

 

“And what favor would that be?” Steph found herself asking the question slipping out before she could stop it; she hoped that Jason hadn’t gotten himself in too much trouble this time. Luckily she could tell that Nightwing would have asked the same question anyway so it could be attributed to her doing her job right and not out of worry.

 

“The very reason you are standing here my dear,” Talia said with an almost playful glint in her eye. “I expect to hear from him within two weeks,” she finished before leaving.

 

Oh… fuck.

 

\---

 

Tim had managed to get to the roof top only a few moments after Nightwing having been listening to the conversation through the coms like everyone else, his heart had been hammering in his chest the second Oracle had let everyone know that Steph was left alone with Talia.

 

He knew he should keep calm but he always ended up thinking too much with his heart whenever Steph was involved, he knew that she could handle herself, knew that she had proven herself but Talia and the rest of the League of Assassin were not to be messed with.

 

His mind kept replaying the worse case scenarios in his head over and over and he very nearly had a heart attack when Talia all but threatened Steph at the end, his heart rate not going down until he was on the very same roof Steph, until he was seeing her alive, clearly unnerved but safe, and once he had the physical evidence that Steph was still alive his mind was able to start working the way that it should.

 

There was something odd about that conversation Steph had with Talia, the fact that they had a conversation at all was enough to raise some eyebrows. Why would Talia go to Steph of all people looking for Jason? He voiced, as much once they had gotten back to the cave, Talia had called Jason Steph’s ‘brother’ and yes Tim knew that most of them were basically family but Steph wasn’t exactly… it was strange.

 

“We’re all brothers in arms, and Brown is one of the most untrained among us making her the easiest target,” Damian spoke up when Bruce began voicing the same thoughts running through Tim’s head.

 

“Excuse me!?” Steph said sounding more annoyed than insulted “I mean it’s true Cass is a strait up ninja but you don’t have to say it out loud” Steph conceded crossing her arms and pretending not to notice as Cass shuffled closer towards her a small smile on her face at the compliment.

 

“But why the threat? It’s not like Jason would care if any of us died let alone one of us he’s never met before” Tim stated before realizing the callousness of his words “ah, no offence Steph,” Tim added on awkwardly mentally kicking himself even when Steph just waved him off. He could never just act normal around her could he? Given their history he supposes that might be impossible.

 

“Steph’s still one of us though and we’ve do tend to have a ‘if you mess with one of us you mess with all of us’ thing going on maybe Jason would do something anyway?” Dick suggested.

 

“Or it could be to just strong arm us into finding him for her,” Bruce said already at the Bat computer looking through the footage of the closest security camera to the roof Talia confronted Steph on, Bruce’s voice already taking on the pained undertone it always did whenever Jason was involved.

 

“But none of us have even seen Jason in a while why would Talia be so sure we could find him?” Dick asked coming up to look over Bruce’s right shoulder while Tim did the same with the left.

 

“Um… do you guys need me to stay?” Steph asked suddenly speaking up all eyes in the room turning on her she seemed to look a bit uncomfortable under all their gazes in a way that she hasn’t in a while, “I mean there’s nothing I can really do and I’ve been pulling a few all-nighters lately finishing off assignments soooooo,”

 

“Go to bed Steph, you’ve earned it, we’ll take it from here. I’ll call if we need anything,” Barbara’s voice came from a screen on the Bat Computer as Steph gave a playful salute before heading over to the exit.

 

Tim almost found himself offering to make sure she got home but he held his tongue, it probably wasn’t smart to push it especially when Steph was being almost uncharacteristically reasonable right now, he would have expected her to force her way into the investigation maybe try and track Jason down herself using the fact that Talia had spoken to her as an excuse to endanger herself.

 

Tim guesses that College took more out of someone than you’d expect, most normal people complained it was exhausting and that wasn’t including Steph’s ‘nightly activities’. Thank god for a college students workload though, Tim has no doubts that Steph will try and do something sooner or later but at the very least tonight she wasn’t thinking about doing anything dangerous.

 

“Is it smart to let her go? Mother did just threaten her,” Damian voiced watching where Steph had once been.

 

“She’ll be fine Talia gave a deadline and I doubt she’ll make a move until then.” Bruce replied barely looking up from the computer “Oracle, I trust she’s making her way home?” Bruce question, the only hint that he gave to the idea that he wasn’t completely unconcerned with Steph’s safety.

 

There was a moment of silence as Oracle checked Steph’s route, “I just spoke to her and it looks like she’s making one stop before home,” Barbara said and Tim had to repress a groan though luckily Oracle continued before any conclusions could be made.

 

“There’s a building Steph likes to go to every now and then ‘to think’ she turns off her communicator and likes to be left alone with her thoughts for about an hour or so, according to Cass she’s been doing it since she came back from Africa,” Barbara reported and Cass nodded in confirmation when Bruce glanced for confirmation.

 

Tim supposes that makes sense they all sometimes needed to be left alone with their thoughts every now and then. It only became a problem when they spent too long alone with their thoughts.

 

“Actually…” Barbara noted thoughtfully “it’s in some of the less savory parts of town, Steph said it reminded her of someplace from her childhood but it is close to, nearly right at the edge of Red Hood’s territory. If you wanted to you could probably get a good vantage point of some of the Hood’s territory from there. That might be why Talia went to Steph, with how often she goes there it’s not a stretch to believe that we were trying to spy on Jason that way,”

 

“She took me there once,” Cass spoke up “we only stayed for a little bit. We ate ice cream there. That place is special to Steph though she wouldn’t explain why… But it’s true. You can see hood’s territory there,”

 

Tim brought his hand up to his chin thoughtfully as he processed the new piece of information “I’d like to see this place for myself,” Tim said “see if it really is a good enough vantage point that Talia would believe Steph would know where Jason was”

 

“You do that,” Bruce said nodding at Tim’s suggestion barely looking up from the Bat Computer where he was replaying the recording of the conversation Steph had with Talia “Alfred ready the bat plane,”

 

“You’re leaving? While mother is still in Gotham!?” Bruce was already putting his cowl back on barely acknowledging Damian’s outburst the tension that Bruce carried whenever something involving Jason popped up had already set itself on his shoulders. Not that Tim could judge him when the weight of his own issues involving Steph were part of this case as well.

 

“I’ll be back before morning, there’s something I need to check.” Bruce told them before leaving Tim had a feeling he knew where he was heading.

 

\---

 

On some level Bruce thinks Ra’s must have been expecting him, how could he not when all Ra’s does is calmly sip his wine as Bruce appears in his room. For a brief sickening moment Bruce feels a sense of deja vu from a time when he had questioned Ra’s on Jason’s revival.

 

He hopes that whatever his instincts that brought him here are trying to tell him are wrong even if it means he’s wasting precious time.

 

“Why is Talia looking for Jason?” Bruce asks the first words he speaks in this encounter breaking the heavy silence that had been draped over them like a shadow.

 

Ra’s calmly takes a sip of his wine before answering, “my daughter has been quite willful lately even I do not fully understand what could be going on in her head, however she’s always been invested in the boy. I can guess she merely wants to keep track of him,”

 

“It seems like an awfully desperate move to go to Batgirl of all people to do that,” Bruce notes his voice dry and unimpressed, he tracks Ra’s movement as the older man raises an eyebrow and Bruce feels his heckles raise.

 

“And yet it is the most likely to be the most effective,” Ra’s says as he takes out a small USB key from one of his office's desk draws, “I knew the day would come where I would have to share this with you but I honestly thought it would be sooner. I’m almost disappointed detective,”

 

Ra’s voice is full of amusement but Bruce ignores it as he examines the memory stick, “what is this?” Bruce asks as Ra’s moves out into the balcony and stares at the moon.

 

“Some time ago there was a break in at one of my Lazarus Pits, that is footage of the perpetrators,”

 

“And they’re alive?” Bruce deduced from Ra’s tone unable to stop himself from raising an eyebrow.

 

“The one who broke in had ample reason to know the location of the Pit having once been in its waters himself… I believe you’ll find the answers to any questions you still have on that footage.” Ra’s noted though he spoke again just as Bruce made movement to leave “about the girl, Stephanie Brown… her place in your family is a very peculiar one. She has gone through more trials than Hercules to earn even the barest amounts of your trust though I wonder Detective if you have ever earned hers?”

 

Bruce didn’t respond, leaving without a word. He already knew the answer to that question.

 

As soon as he was back in the Bat plane he was uploading the contents of the memory stick, setting the planes autopilot while he checked the stick for trackers and viruses. When the device came back clean he took off heading back to Gotham as the footage played on the screen.

 

Sounds of a fight made it’s way from just outside the room where the pit was before silence reigned for a few shorts moments as a too familiar young man made his way towards the pit carrying a blonde girl who at that moment looked more like an empty doll than a person.

 

Bruce watched Jason Todd carry Stephanie Brown as if she were the most precious thing in the world whispering gentle assurances to her as he carefully placed her down into the pit's waters, almost as though, if he wasn’t careful she’d shatter like glass in his hands.

 

And then he let go and she sank down until she disappeared below the water's surface, worry and impatience etched itself onto Jason’s face as seconds ticked by and there was no movement from the waters until suddenly Stephanie burst to the surface gasping for air, Jason hurriedly pulled her out trying to calm her down as she screamed. He held her close until eventually the screams turned to sobs.

 

As the footage ended Bruce felt himself grip the steering wheel of the Bat Plane so hard that for a moment he thought it might break.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catching up from the past to the present this chapter is long.

When he had learned that she had died Jason had waited three days before going to Gotham, honestly he had wanted to get to Gotham as soon as he got the news but it was hard to get out of Talia’s watchful eye most of the time and it was even harder when he was doing something she didn’t exactly approve of.

 

Not that he cared of what Talia or Ra’s or any of them thought about this… this was something he needed to do.

 

Jason Todd had known about Stephanie Brown for a while now, not much only passing information but he’d been keeping tabs on everything he could in Gotham. At first he didn’t really think much of her just another crime fighter in Gotham who didn’t take on any one more notable than drug dealers and muggers the only reason she had even made it into one of Jason’s reports was that she was dating the replacement. If it came down to it he could always use her against the third robin but he doubted he would need to.

 

The next time Jason had heard about her was when she became the fourth Robin, his first action was a bitter laugh at the replacement’s expense thinking about how the replacement had gotten replaced.

 

“Guess he wasn’t so special after all,” Jason said out loud as he looked at the picture of a girl in the robin costume “Bruce would replace any of us at a drop of a hat,”

 

The second action Jason took after finding out about the fourth Robin was digging up as much information about her as possible. Jason hadn’t exactly known what he was expecting maybe something like what he’d found on Tim heck maybe even something close to Bab’s background, Jason hadn’t been expecting something so… familiar.

 

Jason had to double-check the reports nearly three times because he was almost convinced someone was fucking with him. Sure there were differences but a crime ally kid from the bad parts of Gotham, a no good crook of a father, a drug addict mother, Jason could have laughed as he saw his past mirrored in this girl.

 

He’d heard that before becoming Robin the girl had butted heads a lot with Bruce which didn’t surprise him, she had everything that Bruce had hated about Jason when *he* was Robin but something about the report made something flutter in Jason’s chest. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time, something worryingly close to hope. Hope that Bruce might do better with this girl than he did with Jason, that the old man might have actually learned something.

 

He watched footage of the current Robin team up with Batgirl taking on Penguin’s Operation and he could see the same anger in her that he had when he wore the R. He could tell that she *got* it, how bad Gotham could be, how much normal people could get hurt. None of the others had ever understood, they’d never been part of the worse parts of Gotham like Jason had… like Stephanie had…

 

Huh.

 

It was strange to think that she might actually get what Jason had always tried to make Bruce understand, that she herself might understand… he’d never really been understood before.

 

Absentmindedly Jason decided that he liked her, when the time came for him to go back to Gotham for his plan he’d go easy on her, he owed her for knocking the replacement off of his perch after all.

 

And then the city wide gang war happened.

 

Gotham City was in Chaos and before it was over Stephanie Brown was dead and the replacement was back in the Robin colors.

 

Jason wondered if she was even cold before Tim Drake was back in costume. Jason didn’t think it was possible but he some how hated Tim Drake even more now that not only had he replaced Jason but he’d replaced Stephanie as well.

 

If what Jason had planned for the boy wonder was bad before he’d make sure that whatever did happen was worse.

 

Jason had plans, for what to do when he got to Gotham. For how to lure the Batman out, for how to lure the Joker out but he had been having a hard time deciding on the best course of action but after he read Stephanie’s autopsy report, after Talia told him it was Black Mask when he had asked who killed the fourth Robin, Jason decided that he was going to use Sionis and he was going to make the bastard *suffer*.

 

God knows that Bruce wasn’t going to do it; Bruce never cared, not about kids like Stephanie… not about kids like Jason.

 

“Do… Do you think she’ll come back? Like I did?” Jason asked his voice coming out as a surprisingly fragile, the wind had been knocked out of him when he found out that she died… huh when did he sit down?

 

Talia gave him an almost apologetic look taking his hands in hers in an almost motherly gesture “It… is incredibly unlikely. We never found out what brought you back, the chances of it happening again-“

 

“But there’s still a chance?” Jason interrupted already standing up, Talia briefly looked annoyed at having been interrupted but shook her head.

 

“Jason you are a very special person, someone with a destiny, the universe was not done with you. You were Bruce’s son, you were Robin-“

 

“So was she!” Jason protested but the look Talia gave him in response was one of pity causing him to clench his hands so tightly his knuckles turned white.

 

“Not really…” Talia replied carefully “we believe that she may have only been given the title in order to lure back the Drake boy- Jason where are you going!?”

 

Jason was already walking out the room mentally prepping what he’d need for a trip to Gotham. “Gotham,” was the only answer that he gave Talia’s protests it would take him a while to actually get there but he was going, it didn’t matter what any one said or what sick games Bruce had played with her, she had worn the colors, she was Robin.

 

And if there was one thing that Jason knew better any other person who had bared the ‘R’ it was that Robin’s had a hard time staying dead.

 

\---

 

“You know, I was kind of happy when you became Robin…” Jason began staring awkwardly at the grave; it was simple and undecorated the Brown family being neither rich nor religious. “It made me feel like my time as Robin wasn’t some sort of dark regret of Bruce’s, it made me happy that there was another Robin who understood Gotham, understood what it was like to *live* in Gotham…” Jason sighed suddenly feeling very tiered.

 

“It made me happy that there was someone else like me… but you know kid even if I was happy to have someone who could relate to me… you didn’t have to go this far.” Jason said gesturing at the grave with a dark chuckle. Not sure what else to say he knelt down by the grave and placed the flowers he brought on top.

 

Funnily enough once Jason arrived in Gotham one of his first big worries was what flowers to bring to the grave, not Bruce, not Dick, not the replacement just what flowers would a dead girl like.

 

Just because he felt some sort of connection to Stephanie Brown because of their similarities didn’t mean he knew her favorite flower but he figured that some sort of purple flower would be best considering the girls purple spoiler costume. The flower he had brought her looked kind of like a purple daisy, nice but simple, he didn’t think she’d appreciate anything overly fancy.

 

The flower was called Aster tataricus or the Shion flower if you didn’t want to use its Latin name. According to the old man at the store it meant ‘I won’t forget you’ and that meaning almost felt like a promise between her and him. He wouldn’t forget her and he’d make sure he’d avenge her, he was going to use Black Mask for all his worth and then once every ounce of that scumbag’s use had been used up he’d kill him.

 

Even if Talia was right and Stephanie didn’t come back, Jason would remember her. He’d remember her and he’d avenge her, no one had done it for him but that was the one difference between Stephanie Brown and Jason Todd, Stephanie actually had someone willing to avenge her.

 

Still Jason thought as he exited the grave yard with plans to come back later that night when there was no one around to question him or get in his way when he brought a shovel, Stephanie has already been like him in so many ways he didn’t expect her to stop now.

 

\---

 

“Shit” Jason muttered as he realized that digging up Stephanie’s grave would mean pretty much ruining the flowers he had got her “I’ll bring more tomorrow promise,” Jason muttered to the grave as his shovel broke dirt. It took a while but eventually he hit the coffin and Jason was thankful for whatever training that allowed him to pull the coffin out with relative ease.

 

His heart was beating fast as he pried the coffin open; he just needed to check he just needed to make sure. When he saw Stephanie Brown still in her coffin still very much there and still very much dead Jason wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or disappointed.

 

It was a good thing he decided as he resealed the coffin trying to distract himself from the bruises that were visible just under the makeup they had put on her and Jason was already thinking of what he was going to do to Sionis.

 

It was a good thing Jason told himself again as he made his way out of the graveyard. If she was still there that meant that she hadn’t had to dig her way out, which meant that she hadn’t woken up alone and terrified and had to dig her way out until she was left with bleeding fingers and broken bones like Jason was.

 

That wasn’t going to happen to any one else, not on his watch.

 

So every day for nearly two months that became his routine, he’d visit her sometime in the day to drop off flowers to replace the ones ruined in the night and he’d talk to her: about random things, about his plans, even just simple stuff like how his day has been and in the night he’d dig up her grave just so she wouldn’t have to dig herself out like he did.

 

Part of him got a little impatient, maybe even a little worried with Talia telling him to go back to his training, telling him he was wasting time but he managed to get Talia off his back with the same reason he had kept on doing this for nearly two months.

 

She wasn’t rotting.

 

Jason had been digging Stephanie Brown’s grave up and opening up her coffin to check on her to see if she had come back from the dead like he did for nearly two months and her body had not changed since the first time he had checked on her. It was almost as though her body was in status.

 

That shouldn’t be possible but then again so should coming back from the dead.

 

Jason wondered if his body had been like that, it would certainly explain the injuries of a certain John Doe in a local hospital at the time of his revival despite the time that had passed between Ethiopia and crawling out of his grave. It gave Jason hope that like him the universe wasn’t done with Stephanie Brown yet.

 

Though he did wish she’d get on with it already, he thought as he trudged through the rain to dig her up yet again. He could barley see the coffin underneath the dirt when he heard it. So quiet underneath the rain that he nearly missed it, he'd have almost thought he’d imagined it, if the noise wasn’t so familiar from nightmares of memories laced with fear and desperation. A pounding just below his feat.

 

As if the dead were trying to break themselves out of their coffin.

 

\---

 

She died, or at least she thinks she did.

 

She remembers pain and fear, she remembers finding a shadow and that shadow holding her hand as she felt so, so tiered and she hurt but at least no one was hurting her more. She told the shadow she was tiered and he said she could rest so she closed her eyes…

 

And then she gasped awake.

 

She’s surrounded by darkness, and it reminds her a bit of the shadow for a second, the ground beneath her is soft, she lifted up her hand and immediately hit a lid. Where was she? She died didn’t she? Why was she here?

 

“…Tim?” she croaks out, her throat feels dry and her mouth and her tongue feels dirty, swollen and heavy but she says his name any way, she wants to see the boy who makes her heart sing and cry at the same time.

 

“…Cass?” and she wants to see the girl, the fun girl who made her so, so happy to be with.

 

“…Mom?” her mother, was she worried about her?

 

“Batman…?” that name leaves a bitter almost sad feeling in her mouth but she feels as though she should say it anyway even though her throat is screaming at her to stop with just two names she calls out anyway.

 

No one answers, there is only silence, there is only shadow.

 

She can hear the sound of her breathing, it’s too shallow, there’s not enough air in where she is. She feels around herself and finds she can touch the surface of whatever she’s in no matter what direction she reaches in.

 

She feels her heart rate increase as she realizes that she’s in a box.

 

She wants to get out.

 

She looks around for something she can use, she’s in a simple but nice dress, she’s wearing ballet flat shoes and that makes her disappointed. If she was wearing heels she could have broken the lid with them, there’s nothing for her to break out with.

 

She tries to push the top open but it doesn’t budge, she’s going to have to break something to get out. That’s okay though she thinks she’s good at breaking things. Part of her is saddened by that thought but the rest of her just wants out too much to care.

 

It’s too small in here, she can’t breath in here, she doesn’t want to die (again) in here.

 

She tears open the pillow that had been resting below her head and wraps the fabric around her hand and punches the roof of the box. Her punch breaks the fabric lining the box but doesn’t even scratch the wood underneath and the lid doesn’t budge.

 

She punches and punches until she hears a crack and she’s not sure if it’s the wood or her hand. From the pain shooting up her arm she thinks it’s probably her hand but she hopes at the very least it was also the lid as well. Biting her lip to ignore the throbbing of her fist she punches again and again until she feels a wetness roll down her arms from her hands, until she’s screaming in frustration and fear, tears threatening to roll down her eyes, until it starts getting even harder to breath and she feels lightheaded, and then she throws another punch.

 

With this punch she hears another crack and dirt falls on top of her and into her mouth almost choking her as she desperately coughs it out, she punches again trying to push aside both the dirt and the fear pooling in. Trying to make sure she didn’t get any more dirt in her mouth, she didn’t know if her throat could handle another coughing fit or the fear of choking that came along with it.

 

Then as if the lid had never been there in the first place it was gone and her hand met empty air.

 

The sky was pouring down with rain soaking her in an instant; distantly she heard someone call out to her as she looked up at the sky while the rain mixed with the tears on her face.

 

\---

 

As soon as he heard the pounding Jason threw himself into the grave even though the coffin was only half dug out desperately trying to clear the dirt away and cursing himself as he started to see dirt pool into the coffin.

 

This was exactly what he wanted to avoid!

 

Jason cursed himself again, how could he be so careless!? He got complacent and he had dragged his feet because of the rain and because of that Stephanie had woken up in a coffin alone, thank god he didn’t just decide to stay home, he’d thought about it briefly but the sound of thunder reminded me of his own resurrection and he didn’t want to leave the chance of Stephanie clawing her way out of her own grave with nothing but the rain to wash away hands covered in her own blood like Jason was.

 

No one was going through that ever again, not while he was around.

 

Though Stephanie had still been hurt, Jason thought bitterly as he saw the blood and blisters covering her hand. Ever since he had thrown open the coffin Stephanie had been staring up blankly at the sky shivering slightly in the rain and the night air. Quickly he took off his jacket wrapping it around her like a makeshift blanket and Stephanie finally looked at him as if seeing him for the first time.

 

Jason wondered if his eyes had looked just as empty and blank when he had come out of the grave.

 

She showed no reaction as he took her hand inspecting the extent of her injuries, merely watching him as if waiting for him to attack; Jason wondered if she would attack back if he did, she probably would. She was a fighter he could tell.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jason apologizes and he means it he really does, she shouldn’t have died, this shouldn’t have happened. Jason’s death should have been a big enough wake up call from Bruce; instead another little soldier had gotten killed, buried, tossed aside and forgotten.

 

But Jason thinks as he looks at the ruined Aster Tataricus flowers by the grave, at least Jason didn’t forget Stephanie. As he looked at the girl still staring at him with almost unseeing eyes he swore she’d never have to go through the things he did. Someone had to protect her.

 

“I’m so sorry this happened to you Stephanie, I should have been the last, but I promise you no one is going to hurt you again,” her eyes showed no comprehension at his words yet she seemed to understand that he wasn’t going to hurt her and some of the tension she’d been carrying seemed to ease off her but Jason makes sure to telegraph his movements as he goes to pick her up.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he reassures as he gently picks her up and she squirms and makes a whine of protest but Jason holds onto her anyway, he doesn’t think she should be walking around regardless not when she spent a considerable amount of time dead and had to nearly claw her way out of her own grave.

 

He finds himself talking to her, trying to comfort her as he makes his way to his car, he’s not entirely sure if the words are entirely for her or for him “don’t worry Stephanie, you’re safe, I’ve got you, I’ve got you” he mutters continually not really certain how much of this she’s understanding, he remembers Talia saying that when she and Ra’s found him he was unresponsive and he wonders how much of this is the same and how much of this is Stephanie being in shock.

 

As he lays her down in the back seat of his car he distantly notes that he should make some time before morning to fix Stephanie’s old grave, not that it might even really matter. No one had noticed that her grave had yet to grow grass, just like no one had noticed Jason had dug out of his grave, so people probably wouldn’t notice or care about Stephanie Brown’s now empty grave. The dead were rarely given much thought by the living after all.

 

Jason started the car turning up the heat to max trying to warm Stephanie up since both of them were soaked to the bone from the rain and resolved that if he had time he would try and fix Stephanie’s grave. It was best not to leave any loose hanging threads and besides her grave deserved some respect even if she was no longer resting in it.

 

As he drove Jason kept checking on Stephanie through the rear view mirror as she drifted off into sleep in the warmth of the car and the pattering of rain outside carefully keeping track of the rise and fall of her breathing to remind himself that she was really alive.

 

She was alive. She’d come back. Just like him.

 

“Don’t worry kid, no ones going to hurt you again,” Jason promised her as he drove to his nearest safe house.

 

Tonight seemed to be a night for cursing himself though, Jason thought as Stephanie who had woken up when he tried carrying her inside watched him from the couch as Jason fumbled around his sorry excuse for a kitchen. He’d spent so long waiting for Stephanie to come back to life but he hadn’t actually given much preparation for what to do when she actually did.

 

He should at least have had more in his kitchen besides canned soup, left over pizza and frozen waffles regardless of whether or not he was taking care of another person. He could practically hear Alfred chiding him for not taking care of himself.

 

Shaking his head Jason quickly took the waffles out to get ready trying to ignore the pain in his heart at the thought of Alfred. He hoped that Alfie wouldn’t get too hurt when Jason finally enacted out his plan, he hoped that on some level he’d at least understand.

 

Corralling Stephanie into the shower and then into one of his shirts was an embarrassing, slightly awkward endeavor on his part but at least she was dry and in something clean now while she chewed on the almost burned waffles looking somehow even smaller in his shirt that hanged loosely off her like a dress.

 

Sighing he ran his hand down his face feeling a little out of his depth and went to make the call.

 

“Talia,” he greeted when she picked up as he put some soup onto the hob, he doubted waffles would be enough for Stephanie. He didn’t remember much from his own resurrection before the Pit but he did remember a feeling of hunger.

 

“Are you finally ready to stop this endeavor?” Talia asked straight to the point causing Jason to roll his eyes, he had to bite back a retort on how Talia had chosen to say hello. There were more important things to deal with, too important to waste time being a smart ass.

 

“Kind of…” Jason admitted because it was hitting him now that Stephanie was back, no more digging up her grave. “She came back,” there was a long stretch of silence from the other end as Talia processed the information before she responded.

 

“I’ll be there in six hours,”

 

\---

 

“Was I like that?” Jason found himself asking one morning at the compound as he watched Stephanie wander around the room while he spoke with Talia, he was nervous to take his eyes off her. A compound belonging to the League of Assassins wasn’t exactly the safest place even though he new that it was unlikely that someone would be crazy enough to attack one of Talia’s chambers especially if they knew it would piss him off.

 

“I mean talk about Blank with a capital B,” Jason joked though honestly the thought that that had once been him, blank and unsure in his person-hood was kind of disconcerting. It was one thing to hear Talia tell him that before the Lazarus Pit he had been unresponsive, it was another thing entirely to see what it would have actually been like. He didn’t think he had ever really understood what that had meant until Stephanie came back.

 

“Yes,” Talia told him as she took a sip of her tea “it is a bit nostalgic for me seeing her like this,” Talia eyed Stephanie as she started poking around the piano that was in the room but didn’t make any moves to stop her so Jason shrugged it off as being alright. Jason got the feeling that Talia and Ra’s saw Stephanie as some kind of pet to keep Jason happy, the thought was insulting to both him and her but he sucked it up as long as it kept her safe.

 

He honestly did feel calmer around her, whenever he had to leave for one reason or another there was a tension that had lifted off his shoulders at the idea that someone in some way was waiting for him to come back, he always brought her a gift or a souvenir and while she was on a whole unresponsive Jason liked to believe that she seemed happier when he was around.

 

“…She’ll most likely remain like this without the help of a Lazarus Pit,” Talia told him and Jason clenched his fist to keep them from shaking.

 

“No,” was all he said, stiff and short as memories of sickly burning green played in the back of his mind. He wouldn’t wish that one anyone let alone her. Talia gave him a look before shrugging seemingly accepting that that was the end of that particular conversation and looked as though she was about to say something else when suddenly the sound of music notes trickled through the air.

 

Sitting in front of the piano Stephanie was playing a haunting piano refrain looking somehow both excited and content at the same time. He and Talia sat there almost mesmerized as she played. He didn’t know that Stephanie could play, there had barely been anything about music in the reports he’d read on her life but then again it wasn’t like kids from the bad side of Gotham could indulge in things like that. Not when most of them spent their days focused about basic survival, worrying about paying rent and whether or not their mom would OD in the night.

 

It was nice to hear Stephanie play, more than nice actually though her technique was lacking from proper tutelage she clearly had talent and it was impossible not to be touched by emotion playing through the notes. When the piece had finally finished and Stephanie was merely staring blankly at the piano again a moment of silence hung over the room as if any noise that attempted to replace the music that had filled the air would be disrespectful.

 

Then a slow clap from Talia sounded out, when she was done Talia picked up her cup and still looking at Stephanie said, “I’m quite impressed, her technique is lacking but that was a wonderful composition I think I’ll get her piano lessons. I’m quite fond of classical piano,”

 

Jason simply shrugged in agreement, Stephanie clearly enjoyed the piano showing more emotion in those few minutes of playing than she had in the weeks she’d been here and it would give her something new to do whenever Jason was gone.

 

Though later Jason wonders if he should have said no to the piano lessons when he comes back to find Ra’s sitting with Talia as Stephanie plays for them. Not really knowing what to do Jason finds himself almost frozen in the doorway until the piece finishes. Ra’s claps and raises an eyebrow in Jason’s direction as if questioning if he’s scared to enter the room while Ra’s is there. Jason steels himself and walks to stand between Stephanie and the Al Ghul’s.

 

He doesn’t think they’d hurt her, not really; they don’t want Jason as their enemy and they never figured out what brought him back so Stephanie only intrigues them more with the encore of that little miracle. Besides Talia seems to like Stephanie, even if it’s in an uncomfortable way where Talia treats her like a doll dressing her up and doing her hair.

 

Still though Jason feels like he’d be able to handle this encounter better with him in a position where he can protect Stephanie than not.

 

“So good to see you young man, I hear your exhibitions have been going well?” Ra’s says taking a drink while Jason just shrugs, exhibitions huh? That’s certainly one thing to call them.

 

“Yeah they’ve been going great, how have things been with you? Got to say I’m surprised to see you honestly. You don’t usually come all the way down here what’s the occasion?” Jason asked and yeah he could probably be more respectful and all but he was kind of pissed that Talia had brought Ra’s without so much as a warning. That alone was enough to put him in a bad mood not even counting the fact that he’d been in the same room as Stephanie for so long without him knowing.

 

“I can’t simply be here to enjoy some wonderful music?” Ra’s asks almost jokingly humor lacing his tone “Talia sent us some recordings of Miss Brown’s wonderful playing a while ago and my grandson has been quite enamored with her playing. I’ve been toying with the idea of letting him see her perform in person as a reward for when he completes his next set of trials,”

 

Jason’s eyebrows shot up at the mention of Talia’s kid, he’d heard about him in passing and honestly the idea that Bruce and Talia had brought a kid into the world truly boggled the mind though Jason would pay real money to see Bruce’s face when he found out about the existence of that piece of information.

 

“Come on now I doubt that’s the only reason you’re here,” Jason said because while Stephanie’s playing was good to the point where he’d heard some of her piano instructors call her a prodigy despite her lack of response to a lot of the world around her, Jason severely doubted that Ra’s would come down all the way here simply for that.

 

“Well I was also here to discuss with Talia certain troubles the detective and his charges have been causing for me recently,” Ra’s noted offhandedly and Jason tensed in a way he always did whenever Bruce was mentioned trying to not show too much reaction especially since Ra’s was watching him in an almost careful way the way he always did when anything Batman related came up.

 

“Tim,”

 

Everyone in the room had been so caught up in the small mental chess game taking place that the sound of the voice felt like a bucket of cold water had just been thrown over them, it took longer than Jason was proud of to put together that the voice had come from behind him, his mind still reeling from the shock.

 

Jason wasn’t proud of it but sometimes it was easy to forget that Stephanie was in the room with how little she expressed herself and some times it was to easy to slip into the assumption that she wasn’t paying attention to the world around her.

 

Maybe that’s why Jason found himself almost shaking at the sound of hearing her voice for the first time, at least he hoped it was that and not because of *what* she said.

 

“What?” Jason whispered the question and hated the way his voice trembled, he absolutely hated it. He couldn’t afford not to stand his ground right now especially with all eyes turned towards Stephanie.

 

“Tim?” Stephanie repeats the word again almost like a question this time and Jason’s positive that he was shaking now and he couldn’t decide if it was due to shock or anger? Why? Why that name? Why the name of the person that had replaced him? That had replaced her?

 

“Yes…” Ra’s said slowly eyeing Stephanie with renewed interest, “the boy was there as well,” Jason felt his fist clench unable to read what it meant when Stephanie lowered her eyes back onto her lap.

 

“How curious,” Ra’s muttered, “I can see what my daughter says about nostalgia,”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jason asked feeling his heckles rise while Ra’s gave him what could almost be considered a smirk.

 

“Nothing of importance,” Ra’s said almost dismissively “I was simply thinking of the fact that the Detective’s name was one of the first things you said when you were in that state,”

 

Jason mentally counted to ten as he processed that information, “was it really?” he said both desperate for and not wanting to know the answer.

 

“Yes, you asked for him quite a bit,” Ra’s told him as Jason turned to look at Stephanie. It didn’t mean anything, it couldn’t mean anything. Stephanie didn’t understand what she was saying, just like Jason had been. She didn’t realize how much she’d been hurt.

 

If she were in the right state of mind she would never say that name.

 

\---

 

Jason felt a wave of unease spread through him as he made his way towards the Pit, every part of himself screaming at him not to do this.

 

“It’ll be okay,” Jason, said both for himself and Stephanie, he needed to do it, he had to. It wasn’t fair on her to leave her in this state, where she barely understood herself and the world around her.

 

“It’ll get better, it hurts at first but it does get better,” Jason promised as he lowered her into the waters.

 

\---

 

Steph was dead, and then she wasn’t. Honestly she didn’t completely understand it herself but she was here and alive now and she wanted to see her mom but she couldn’t because her mom thought she was *dead*, the only person who seemed to understand why that sucked was Jason.

 

The second Robin was also alive now and probably the only thing keeping her sane but Steph liked to focus on one thing at a time. Usually she was kind of good at multitasking but right now there were too many things.

 

Far, far too many things.

 

Steph isn’t exactly sure how long she’s been here and she knows on some level she should try to get away having seen enough mentions of the League of Assassins in passing on Batman’s computer to know that they are *bad* news, but on the other hand she’s also kind of upset with Batman right now.

 

Or maybe she’s more upset with herself?

 

She knows she messed up; she messed up big time even though Jason furiously tells her it’s not her fault and he gets upset whenever she mentions it or even starts thinking that Batman might have been right about her so she stops mentioning those things to him. Jason has far too much on his plate already.

 

Steph likes Jason, he’s nice and he *gets* a lot of the stuff that the other Bat’s never did, he’s also honest with her and trusts her which is pretty much the first time that’s happened ever. He’s told her a lot of things, pretty much everything: Batman’s secrets and his own plans. She thinks Jason has wanted someone to talk to for a long time.

 

For some reason Steph associates Jason with safety, he was practically on cloud nine when she mentioned that to him and she hadn’t seen him that happy since she told him to call her Steph since that’s what her friends call her. It’s that association that keeps her calm even though the place she stays is both strange and yet incredibly familiar, it’s what stops her from freaking out when she realizes just how much she’s improved at piano despite the last time she knows she played was for Tim and it makes her wonder just how much time she’s missing and it’s what makes her stay quiet whenever Talia is around the woman freaks her out and Steph spends most of Talia’s visits hiding behind Jason or running about serving tea and snacks for Talia in an effort to not have them notice how jittery those visits make her.

 

Steph does on some level for reasons she doesn’t fully understand; trust Jason, so she sticks with him. He was the one who pulled her from that Pit of nightmares after all, but just because she trusts him though doesn’t mean she doesn’t worry about him and when he starts training her she knows that the other shoe is going to drop soon.

 

Jason knows she can handle herself but there are times when he treats her like she’s made of glass and some part of her appreciates it and another part of her wants to pull her hair out, but Jason’s training is hard and intense but she can see herself improving under it.

 

The other shoe drops when he shows her a design for a red version of her Spoiler costume and a staff that can turn into a sniper rifle. Jason calls the suite ‘Scarlet’ and he tells her he’s planning on going back to Gotham, that he’s planning on getting revenge on the Joker and Black Mask and then he asks her to come with him.

 

She can’t, she just can’t. After everything she did she doesn’t know if she’s ready for Gotham, for Tim, for Cass, for Bruce. She doesn’t know if she can see them yet and not completely break down, also Steph doesn’t really want revenge, more than anything she wants her friends and family back. She wants to tease Tim and play roof top tag with Cass and she really wants to see her mom again but she doesn’t tell Jason that bit.

 

She’s not sure Jason is ready for it yet, the whole letting go, rising above thing. Steph is not exactly the best person to preach for that though since she kind of speed ran it when she decided not to kill Black Mask when she had the chance and then died. She’s not entirely comfortable with Jason going after Black Mask but Bruce will probably stop Jason from actually killing Sionis.

 

He definitely cared for his rouges more than he ever cared for her that’s for sure, or at least that’s what it felt like sometimes.

 

Jason understands that she’s not ready to go back to Gotham, he’s disappointed but he understands, that doesn’t mean he’s going to wait for her to be ready, he’s apparently pushed back his plan for nearly a year for her not that she’d ever be part of that plan even if she was ready to go back to Gotham. Even she can see that the plan goes nowhere.

 

Bruce is a stubborn asshole about what he believes whether he’s right or wrong and not even someone coming back from the dead will change his mind on his own principles.

 

Steph honestly wishes Jason would just drop the plan entirely, she wishes that she was enough to make him drop it but she knows she’s not. She’s never been enough for anyone.

 

She and Jason take a trip to Africa before he heads off to Gotham because they both trust the League of Assassin about as far as they can throw them and there’s only one person they know even remotely trustworthy that knows about Bruce, that knows about that life and won’t go running to Bruce when a couple of dead kids show up.

 

Doctor Leslie Thompkins does scream when she sees them though.

 

“I don’t understand how!?” Is the first thing the good doctor asks when Steph calms her down and Jason just shrugs while Steph tries to explain as best she can but honestly she can’t really explain the Lazarus Pit if she tried, she doesn’t know if she wants to either.

 

“There are things that I’ve got to take care of, can you look after Steph when I’m gone?” Jason asks and while Leslie looks worried at the ‘things’ that Jason refers to, the sad way she’s looking at Steph seems to over power it.

 

“Of course,” Leslie agrees solemnly and Steph feels like the old woman is about to start crying. After that it’s only a matter of Jason making sure Steph is settled and has everything she needs before he announces that it’s time for him to go.

 

They’re both aware on some level that he might not come back to get her and there’s a tense air where neither one of them wants to say goodbye. Not really trusting her voice Steph threw her arms around him and Jason tensed for a slight second before quickly returning the embrace wrapping his arms around her and holding her like she was a piece of drift wood keeping him from drowning in the ocean.

 

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes and a quiet scream of ‘ _don’t go, don’t go, don’t go_ ’ repeated itself like a chant in her head, even though she didn’t say anything out loud it felt like Jason heard her and he squeezed her tighter.

 

However neither one of them could stay like that forever and eventually Jason pulled back, “you better take care of her,” Jason said making it sound like he was saying a request and making a threat at the same time, his voice cracking oddly leaving Steph wondering if she wasn’t the only one trying not to cry.

 

“Oh course,” Leslie promised as she pulled Steph towards her.

 

“I’m going to miss you Jay,” Steph said in a voice so quiet she was worried he might not hear her but he did giving a chuckle that sounded dangerously close to a sob.

 

“I’m going to miss you too Steph,”

 

And then he was gone.

 

\---

 

Africa is different to anything Steph’s experienced before but she’s always been able to role with the punches. Steph is happy to help in any way she can and there’s always a lot of work that needs to be done, which is good since it distracts her from Jason, and Tim and Bruce and pretty much everything that’s unfair about her life.

 

But it seems that no matter what she does or where she goes she can’t escape the need to put on a cape.

 

A religious fanatic terrorist group is holding Leslie and an entire village captive and everyone is sure that they are all going to die. Steph is already making her move when she realizes that she’s putting on a costume. There was one thing Bruce had right in the fact that there is power in the fear that a costume can bring forth. She doesn’t dress up as Spoiler or Robin who would have no meaning here instead the costume she throws together is made to resemble an old legend some local children told her.

 

Katavi an African spirit and devil said to come out at night and punish sinners, it’s not just the legend that reminds her of home, the mask and costume feels familiar and comforting in a way she wishes it didn’t. As if all this time she was missing a piece of herself and she finally got it back.

 

Steph or rather Katavi save the village and Leslie is looking at her funny after that but she doesn’t say anything. After that it’s like an itch or compulsion, and every night for a month she sneaks out and the spirit Katavi is out and about stopping crimes, human trafficking, poachers and anything else she comes across. She delivers food and medicine to people who wouldn’t trust Leslie and other humanitarian workers and feels *right* again for the first time in nearly a year.

 

The people of the region are talking about the spirit of Katavi who has come to bring salvation and hope to them and Steph is sure that Leslie knows but the doctor seems to have no intention of making the first move so Steph makes it for her and asks to go back to Gotham.

 

Steph knows that she can’t talk about Jason especially with everything that happened with the Red Hood so she asks Leslie to play along as she makes up a story about Leslie switching bodies to protect Steph and hopes that Bruce buys it.

 

He does and even claims to Tim that he knew that Steph was alive this whole time and *that* was the reason she had never gotten a memorial case in the cave, that and not the fact that Bruce had never seen her as his Robin, had never viewed her as anything more than a tool to manipulate Tim with. Steph bights down the screams of _Liar, liar, liar_ that plays in her head when she sees Bruce after that. She wonders if he’s challenging her, if he suspects she’s hiding something and is trying to make her reveal herself by calling out his lie.

 

If it is bait Steph doesn’t take it.

 

Other than Alfred actually being happy to see her for once Steph might be able to trick herself into believing that she had never left at all, she might have been able to if not for how much Tim had changed. He’s been through so much since she died and it’s not just his suit that’s darker but everything else about him as well.

 

Sometimes she sees the boy she fell in love with: the shy, easy to tease boy who loved heroes and was the first person to treat her like something precious and Steph tries to bring that boy out, she tries to bring Tim back to the light but he’s hurt and he’s angry with her, feeling betrayed for letting him believe she was dead. She doesn’t tell him that she really did die, she accepts his anger as her punishment: for the gang war, for not stopping Jason and for being too scared to come back to Gotham until now so she accepts Tim’s anger and tries to be there for him as much as she can.

 

Things settle down and Steph falls back into her place in Gotham as if she never died in the first place. The only change to her old routine is her volunteering at Leslie’s clinic on the weekend, she likes Leslie and it’s good work though like everything in Steph’s life she’s not allowed to enjoy it happily and peacefully for long.

 

She’s working late at the clinic one weekend with only her and Leslie left in the building Steph’s filing paperwork and goes to get Leslie’s signature on one and finds her looking out of her office window looking out at the night sky nursing a drink that was almost definitely alcoholic in nature. Steph isn’t going to judge her, not with how hard her job can be and the fact that it’s been a long day so Steph doesn’t say anything.

 

Leslie however does.

 

“You know he apologized to me when we came back?” Leslie said breaking the silence that Steph hadn’t realized had fallen over the room.

 

“Wha-“ Steph begins only to be interrupted.

 

“I hated the fact that he used children you know? Hated the fact that he would bring child soldiers into his war even after what happened to Jason, I wanted to hurt him, to teach him a lesson, I put another dead child on his conscience. He was angry when he found out what I did and pretty much kicked me out of the country not that I could complain I deserved it and then he apologized, he apologized for ‘thinking so poorly of me’ and told me that if I ever needed anything to just ask… he even… he even *thanked* me for looking after you,” Leslie chuckled weakly and took another sip of her drink.

 

Steph didn’t say anything, simply standing there quietly as she processed the information that had just been revealed. Honestly Steph wasn’t really surprised, she had suspected as much as she learned more about medicine, that she could have been saved. It was a small chance but it was there, not that it mattered Steph died anyway and then she came back. Steph was alive again and she wasn’t really going to be picky about the details regarding that, if she was being honest the most shocking parts of the story is Bruce being angry on Steph’s behalf and thanking someone for taking care of her.

 

They both stay in a heavy silence before Leslie slams her hand down on her desk “DAMN IT SAY SOMETHING!” Leslie screams tears streaming down your face, “I killed you!”

 

“Actually it was Black Mask who-“

 

“I was your doctor and I purposefully denied you treatment! It didn’t even have anything to do with you I used your life like ammo to get back at him! I was supposed to help you and I let you die!” Leslie was trembling now through her own anger and tears and Steph moved to comfort her holding her in a gentle embrace. “How can you treat me so kindly? How can you forgive me? I played with your life! You realize that don’t you?” Leslie asked her and Steph could only shrug.

 

“Yeah but so has everyone else,” Steph said smiling weekly “if I hated everyone who played with my life I don’t think I’d have anyone in my life at all” because it was the truth her father had played with her life by being a criminal damn the consequences to her, though she loved her mother she’d forced Steph to grow up far too fast, she loved Tim but he had always searched for everyone of her secrets and held his close to his chest, she cared about Jason but he had thrown her into the Pit and Bruce had used her as a pawn in far too many of his manipulations, twisted far too many of her relationships.

 

Steph honestly can’t think of a single person had truly never used her or played with her life, she wondered if that showed on her face because Doctor Leslie Thompkins cried harder in her arms and Steph didn’t know if she was crying for her or herself.

 

\---

 

It was nice to have the people she cared about back but Steph knew there was something missing, that missing something ended up knocking on her door nearly two months after she’d been back.

 

There standing in the rain, looking almost like a soaked puppy was Jason Todd, “hey I heard you were back in town,” Jason said shuffling awkwardly.

 

Steph looked him up and down raising an eyebrow before speaking.

 

“You hurt Tim,” she said curtly and Jason almost looked like he’d been slapped.

 

“…I know” Jason said quietly clenching his fists but looking almost resigned.

 

“You tried to kill Bruce,”

 

“I know,”

 

“And you never even called!”

 

“I know- wait what?” Jason didn’t even have time to properly process what she said as she threw her arms around him in a hug, Jason stiffened at the contact before melting into it and holding her close almost as if he was drinking her in.

 

“I missed you,” she really truly had even now, even being aware of the things he’d done being near Jason still fills her with a feeling of safety that she hadn’t realized she’d missed.

 

“I missed you too,” Jason told her squeezing her tighter.

 

“You scared me for a second there,” he murmured and Steph wasn’t sure if she was meant to hear that or not, he thought she was going to reject him, like she ever could, even numbered Robins needed to stick together after all. Even if Cass and Jason were the only ones that actually considered Steph a Robin.

 

Finally Steph pulled away and took in all the details and changes of his face, Gotham probably hadn’t been kind to him since they’d been apart but it was good to have him back.

 

“Do you want to come in for dinner? We’re having spaghetti”

 

Jason ended up coming over for dinner every month, her mom delighted to meet the boy that had ‘taken Steph to a hospital out of town and saved her life during the gang war’ and had made it known that Jason was always welcome in the house even going so far as giving him a spare key. Jason was also a big help for Steph in dealing with her mom, her mom had been getting so much better but every now and then she looked as though she would risk relapse. Jason was honestly a lifesaver during those moments helping Steph get her mom through it.

 

Steph also knew it was kind of important for Jason as well; having not been able to help his own mom through her addiction she knew it meant a lot for him to at least help her mom.

 

Though the relationship between Stephanie Brown and Jason Todd was good there would be no interaction between Spoiler and the Red Hood until a rubber bullet hit a perp that had been trying to sneak behind her right between the eyes. She looked at the unconscious man and then raised an eyebrow at the direction the bullet had come from.

 

“Really!?” Steph said exasperated as she landed on the roof Jason was on watching as he fiddled with a sniper rifle.

 

“Hey I know you had him but you guys were right next to my territory it would have looked bad if I didn’t step in,” Jason defended himself as Steph huffed at him.

 

She was about to make a retort when she realized that she really was at the edge of his territory, oops. Sighing she decided to let him have this one “thanks for using a rubber bullet,” she said instead and Jason stiffened slightly.

 

“I wasn’t going to put you on the spot like that,” Jason said quietly as she sat down next to him giving him a small smile.

 

“I know,”

 

They spent the rest of the night chatting watching the lights of the city below them.

 

The next time Steph went on patrol without Tim or Cass she made her way to the building at the edge of the Red Hood’s territory looking out at the piece of Gotham Jason had carved as his when suddenly something cold hit her cheek. Steph flinched back preparing for a fight on instinct when she saw Jason standing there holding two packets of ice cream laughing.

 

“That’s not funny,” Steph muttered sitting back down.

 

“It’s a little funny,” Jason retorted siting down next to her and handing one of the ice cream packets over to her. Steph huffed and took a bight of her ice cream after opening it.

 

“So what brings a delicate little bird like yourself all the way out here?” Jason asks as he takes a bite of his own ice cream laughing as Steph shoves him.

 

“You actually, you’re not answering your phone,” Steph tells him and at the very least Jason looks a bit sheepish at that.

 

“Been a bit busy,”

 

“Anything you need help with?” Steph asks slightly concerned but Jason just waves her off.

 

“Nah, nothing I can’t handle, so what’s so important that you needed to seek me out?” Jason asks causing Steph to perk up as she remembers the reason why she came in the first place.

 

“They’re letting my mom work in the hospital again! She’s finally clean enough!” she announces with a grin that only gets wider when Jason lights up at the news.

 

“Steph that’s great!” he exclaims and Steph nods along.

 

“Yep, we’re having a celebration dinner to celebrate and I’ve been told to invite you. Though we’re having trouble deciding one whether to make something or get Chinese take out or pizza. Personally I’m routing for the highly acclaimed Chinese and Pizza night,” she said seriously causing Jason to laugh.

 

“Well I definitely can’t miss that,” he told her.

 

Neither of them planned it but after that night they’d meet up on that rooftop regularly, sometimes she’d go there and Jason would show up, sometimes Jason was already there waiting for her, sometimes they’d just miss each other but it was night to sit up there and talk and share ice cream or whatever food one of them had brought.

 

There were still a lot of problems with a lot of things but Steph was back in Gotham, she had Tim, she had Cass and she had Jason. It was a close to perfect as she could hope for.

 

And then Bruce died.

 

Steph couldn’t help but feel like she might have jinxed something there, then before she even really could comprehend the news Jason was sitting at her window.

 

“Bruce is dead,” was the first thing he said as soon as Steph walked through the door and she was already rushing to his side.

 

“I- I know,” Steph began trying to think of what to say, she knew Jason and Bruce had their issues but he was still his father in every way that mattered, Jason interrupted her before she could say anything else though.

 

“Steph be my Robin!” Jason said almost desperately taking her hand causing her to reel back in shock.

 

“What?” Steph tried to say but Jason was barely listening to her.

 

“Gotham *needs* batman and none of the others can give this city what it needs, there’s going to be a new batman soon and the others aren’t going to step down without a fight but with you by my side I know we can-“

 

“Hold up!” Steph yelled finally getting Jason to stop as she took a breath that did absolutely nothing to calm her, “Bruce died like barely a day ago and you’re telling me you're all already fighting over the cowl like a bunch of kids over a toy before he’s even cold!? What the hell Jason!?” Steph yelled with tears in her eyes barely understanding what was going on.

 

Jason sat silent for a while before smiling sadly.

 

“You’re too good for Gotham Steph and you’re far too good for any of us.” Jason said turning to leave through the window, “I meant what I said about wanting you to be my Robin. If I win I’ll come back to repeat the offer,” he said with a sad smirk.

 

“Jason wait!” Steph called out, but he was already gone.

 

It wasn’t long after that that Steph was super dumped by Tim and Cass left her standing alone holding a discarded costume.

 

\---

 

Steph went back to their rooftop quite a bit but she didn’t see Jason again until a while after a massive Arkham breakout when she found him at their usual spot staring at the Gotham skyline.

 

“You shot Damian!?” she practically screeched and he was already holding his hands up in a placating gesture.

 

“I might have handled things poorly after Bruce died!”

 

“You think!?”

 

\---

 

Then Bruce came back, it wasn’t really a surprise because no one stays dead anymore. Steph was living proof of that particular fact, she didn’t really get Tim’s over the top lost in time explanation but to be honest she wasn’t really listening.

 

She ended up being the one to tell Jason though, the next time she saw him on their roof. He’d practically frozen up when she told him and he’d left without a word. A habit he seemed to share with most of his family, God help her if she ever starting doing that.

 

He was waiting for her the next day multiple worried texts and voicemails after she had given him the news. “sooooooo,” she began slowly, “how are you doing?”

 

Jason shrugged at her question eyes fixed on his territory, “I don’t know if I missed him or not, I don’t know if I should be happy he’s back or not,” Jason admitted in an almost whisper as Steph walked up to stand next to him.

 

“That’s fair, I slapped him in the face when I first saw him again so everyone’s having their own feeling on this,” she told him casually as Jason burst out laughing in response.

 

“Seriously?” Jason asked humor and disbelief lacing his voice.

 

“Seriously,” Steph confirmed and Jason let out a small chuckle that sounded incredibly weak but at least it was there.

 

“Thanks, I needed that,” Jason when he stopped laughing and it really sounded like he did. Steph laced her fingers with his and looked at him carefully.

 

“Jason are you going to be okay?” she asked as he squeezed her fingers.

 

“Yeah...” Jason replied though his voice sounded uneasy and uncertain, “yeah I’m going to be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Aster Tataricus is because I was complaining to a friend about all the Sora Heart Squad pictures that left out Xion like people keep forgetting she’s a Sora and instead focus on the look a-like boys and a friend compared it to Steph being left out of Robin pictures instead focusing on the Batboys and I was like ‘oh my god Steph is the Xion of DC’ because it hurts my heart when people forget her (does that make Jason Roxas or would he be Vani because of the helmet?)
> 
> I apologize to everyone who hasn’t played Kingdom Hearts and has no idea what I’m talking about. Thanks so much for the positive response; it’s my first time writing DC fanfic so it means a lot that you’re all so positive.
> 
> I hope I portrayed Steph and Jason okay in this chapter that’s kind of like a flash back, they’re both going through some stuff here. 
> 
> I always kind of though that Jason felt isolated from the rest of the family even before his death in that he felt Bruce didn’t understand him and maybe even judged him for his back ground like how Spoiler felt that Batman judged her for being Cluemaster’s daughter. It was that kind of feeling of isolation that sent Jason running to Sheila Haywood looking for some kind of acceptance and belonging thinking he’ll find it in a mother he never knew only to have her betray him and help cause his death and when he comes back to life he finds that the people he thought of as his family ‘replace’ him and from his point of view not even care that the Joker killed him.
> 
> So here, when Steph comes along with all her parallels and similarities to him from being from the bad part of Gotham, to the criminal dad, to the drug addict mum, to being Robin to dying and coming back, well with all that she’s GOT to understand him, she’s GOT to know what it’s like. So the part of Jason that still wants to be understood and accepted sort of latches on to Steph and kind of projects? I’ll show it later but in this AU he’s very protective of her because he’s putting a lot of issues on her like no one protected HIM but He’ll protect HER. No one tried to avenge HIM but He’ll avenge HER etc.
> 
> Meanwhile Steph is dealing with a lot of guilt from causing a gang war and is too scared to face the rest of the Bat Family while also dealing with the trauma of dying and the Lazarus Pit. She’s very thankful to Jason but she’s aware of a lot of his issues and she knows he’s projecting on her a bit but she doesn’t do anything because he’s literally all she has at that moment and she doesn’t want him to turn her away too and part of her is a bit reliant on him because she feels like he’s the only person left who cares so she blames herself for not being firmer with him and turning him away from the Red Hood path and then when she’s Bat Girl and she’s more healed and she’s getting more acceptance she has even more issues about Jason because she doesn’t agree with what he does as the Red Hood but she doesn’t want to go against him because she knows what the family rejection feels like and she still feels indebted to Jason since he kind of brought her back to life and it’s just this big thing of personal issues and codependency and The Dead Robin’s Society is SUUUUUUUUPER Fun!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been very busy with life this summer but the chapter's finally here!

It was strange no matter how you built your life, how easy it could all come crashing down.

 

Cassandra Cain had learned that lesson when she was eight years old and she did a very bad thing, the worst thing.

 

She was reminded of that lesson again when Gotham, her city, the city she had promised to protect had been plunged into war.

 

When she had lost her best friend, her first friend.

 

Spoiler, Robin, Stephanie.

 

So many names and so many feelings wrapped around one person, Cass wondered how it was even possible.

 

Steph wouldn’t be able to hug her anymore or tell her jokes, Steph wouldn’t give her reading lessons, Cass wouldn’t be able to train her, and they wouldn’t be able to play rooftop tag.

 

It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair!

 

Robin… Tim was sad and angry, Barbara… Oracle was drifting away from everyone and Batman was going to send her away.

 

Super Boy had once told her that the reason Super Man came to earth was because something happened to his planet’s sun and the world was destroyed and Cass was beginning to understand that now more than she ever had.

 

Stephanie was her sun, with her bright smiles and warm hugs, who never really treated Cass any different than anyone else, who made Cass, feel special and loved… her best friend.

 

And now that her sun was gone and her world was falling apart.

 

They were all falling apart every last one of them.

 

But they would carry on. They had to. They had a city… cities, Gotham *and* Bludhaven to protect and they had to protect people. No more deaths, nobody dies. Not again, she wouldn’t let them.

 

She was leaving for Bludhaven soon, Batman said he was giving her, her own city to protect, but before she left there were things to do. Cass didn’t have much and she had lost a lot but there were still goodbyes to say.

 

She could have easily gotten to the graveyard herself but Alfred had insisted he drive her, she didn’t need him to but it was… nice to have him here.

 

Seeing Steph’s grave hurt, she wanted to see her friend but all she had was a rock with her friends name on it. She couldn’t see Steph but this would have to be good enough.

 

This was all she could get now.

 

Cass knew that people sometimes talked to graves, Bruce had talked to Jason’s grave when he took her with him but Cass had never been good with words and for some reason it felt even harder now, her throat closing up every time she tried all that came out was a strangled sound that sounded too close to a sob.

 

She couldn’t do this, there was so much she wanted to say and she couldn’t. Even trying to say Steph’s name hurt. She didn’t have any injuries but it *hurt*.

 

She stopped trying when Alfred put a hand on her shoulder all of him screaming sadness and understanding and said “that’s quite alright Miss Cassandra, I’m sure Miss Stephanie would be happy just to have you come see her,”

 

Cass nodded and found herself rubbing her eyes that seemed to be becoming rather sensitive for some reason.

 

She stared at Steph’s grave for a few moments before slightly turning to Alfred.

 

“Yes, she never forced me to talk, she… talked enough for the both of us” Cass told him as if she was conveying a secret with a slight laugh and Alfred responded with a fond twitch of his lips in an almost smile.

 

“Yes she was quite spirited, a lot like Master Dick and Master Jason in their younger years,” Alfred told her warmness and traces of grief coating his voice.

 

“Maybe it’s a Robin thing?” Cass suggested trying to say a joke, she must have said it wrong though because Alfred’s face fell and the weight on his shoulders seemed heavier.

 

Cass watched as Alfred tried to distract himself by kneeling down and straightening some flowers that seemed to have fallen to the side of the grave. They were pretty, the same color as Spoiler’s suit.

 

“They must have been knocked off by the weather,” Alfred noted distractedly, he was trying to distract himself from all the loss and pain that he had witnessed and Cass decided to help him. She didn’t want to think about the pain either.

 

“Why?” Cass asked looking at the flowers.

 

Alfred looked at her slightly questioningly with a raised eyebrow and Cass realized she was going to have to say more to be understood.

 

Biting down her frustration she tried to find the words to voice her thoughts… it was hard sometimes, she had so much to say.

 

“Why…” Cass began trying again “why are there flowers now? ... There wasn’t… before.”

 

Before, at the funeral. Where Bruce and Tim stood by the tree and Cass saw Steph’s mother for the first time. That had hurt too, Steph had once said it would have been nice for Cass to meet her mother, for her mother to meet her friend… and then there was the chance for Cass to meet her, to know her friend’s mother and she didn’t want it, that wasn’t how Steph wanted them to meet.

 

Alfred’s eyes lit up with recognition and though he probably didn’t understand everything she was trying to say he understood enough.

 

“Ah well I suppose you aren’t the only one to come to pay their respects to Miss Stephanie, Miss Cassandra. Someone must have brought her some flowers, perhaps her mother or Master Tim…” Alfred’s voice wondered off his gaze fixated on the flowers.

 

Cass couldn’t help but frown, leaving gifts for the dead… it felt strange and some how made sense at the same time. She found herself clasping and unclasping her hand; Cass had never really cared about gifts and she only really wanted what she needed, Oracle and Batman gave her those things and more but one time after they had finished a training session Steph had given her a purple hairband… Cass hadn’t needed it but it was nice to have, getting it had made her happy… would getting flowers make the dead happy?

 

Should she have brought some for her friend?

 

Almost as if he could read *her* Alfred stood up and placed and placed a hand on her shoulders.

 

“Perhaps when you come back we can visit again with our own flowers?” Alfred suggested with a sad, kind smile on his face “for now though as I said I’m sure Miss Stephanie is simply happy to have her friend see her.”

 

Cass stared at the grave in silence part of her hoping that if she just glared hard enough she could have her friend back. After a while though Cass had enough of glaring, she wanted her friend, not a grave with Steph’s name on it.

 

“…Thank you,” Cass said to Alfred finally looking away from the grave.

 

Words were never enough, thank you for taking me, thank you for trying to comfort me, thank you for being understanding, thank you for everything he did for them.

 

Still maybe Alfred did understand everything she meant because he gave her another sad smile and said, “it’s my pleasure Miss Cassandra,” maybe Alfred could read people like she could because he then asked “would you like to head back now?” in a gentle voice.

 

All Cass could do was nod besides this was only one of Steph’s graves that she planed to visit before she left, Alfred led her to the car and she got in gazing out the window as the car started.

 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a boy in a red hoodie holding the same kind of flowers that were on Steph’s grave, maybe he was the one who left them there? Cass was distracted by the thought though when she heard Alfred’s sharp intake of breath.

 

“Alfred?” Cass said slightly concerned for the older man as she started scanning for threats.

 

“Nothing Miss Cassandra,” Alfred reassured shaking his head sadly as if to banish whatever thoughts had been in his head “just old eyes playing tricks on me,” his tone was sad and weary and the drive back to the manor was a quiet one, not that Cass minded.

 

She liked quiet.

 

The manor was quiet as well, everything around Cass had been a strange sort of quiet since she lost Steph, Steph had always been so loud with her words and her body that now that she was gone all she left behind was a piercing silence for the rest of them to live in.

 

Maybe she didn’t like the quiet as much as she used to.

 

Cass didn’t bother to look around the manor for Bruce; she knew where he’d most likely be and even if he wasn’t down in the cave yet, he would be eventually.

 

It wasn’t a surprise to her that she was right and there was Batman working at the computer, she wasn’t trying to be quiet so he have her a small grunt of acknowledgement as she entered preparing to finish up whatever he was working on, Cass let him work as she took in the cave knowing she wouldn’t see it for a while.

 

She froze when she saw it.

 

Or rather didn’t see it.

 

It should be there by now shouldn’t it?

 

“Batgirl? Cassandra?” Batman was looking at her concern radiating off him but she couldn’t bring herself to care about that her body shaking slightly with so many different emotions she couldn’t even begin to pick them out and identify them.

 

“Where is it?!” she managed to hiss out her eyes glued to the spot where the memorial to the second Robin stood.

 

Where there was no memorial for the fourth.

 

“Cassandra-“ Batman began but she didn’t want to hear it tears of frustration already making their way to her eyes.

 

“WHY!?”

 

It wasn’t fair; he’d never been fair about Steph but this felt worse. Was it because he’d already fired Steph when she died? Was that it? Cass had wanted to say goodbye to Steph before she left, all of Steph not just a girl but a hero as well and Batman wouldn’t even give her that?

 

“She tried so hard!” Cass screamed.

 

“I know,” Batman, said the weight on his shoulders seeming to grow heavier.

 

“She wanted to prove… she wanted to show…” Cass stumbled over her words but for once it wasn’t as though she couldn’t find the words to say what she was feeling but there were too many of them. So many things to say that were all trying to tumble out at once making it so she couldn’t say any of them.

 

She had so much she wanted to say.

 

“Cass…” Batman… no Bruce… he’d taken off his cowl now and he looked so, so tiered.

 

“I… understand that you’re hurting right now… when I lost Jason-“

 

“STEPH WASN’T JASON!” the scream ripped out of her throat and she found herself short of breath, she couldn’t say anything else, couldn’t trust herself to but Cass knew her body was screaming.

 

It wasn’t fair, *he* wasn’t fair.

 

Bruce stared at her in silence for a few moments a tense quiet standing over them, he wasn’t bothered by her anger at him baring it like he deserved it.

 

Good, some part of her thought. He did deserve it. Another part of her thought he didn’t but Cass didn’t want to listen to that part right now.

 

“There’s something I want to show you,” Bruce said finally breaking the silence though his voice sounded just as broken and tense as the quiet had been. His body screamed in apology at her and not knowing what else to do Cass followed him to the Bat Computer as he opened up a file and brought it onto the screen.

 

Cass didn’t bother to stop the gasp that slipped out as she saw the blueprints on the screen; designs for a memorial case, lots of them different ones made with marble, made with glass, made with metal, some bullet proof, some shock resistant, one design made to fall into a compartment in the floor but all meant to store Steph’s Robin costume.

 

Cass wasn’t sure how long she stared at those designs, or when she even started crying but she eventually felt a hand placed on her shoulder and she forced herself to drag her eyes away from the computer screen and turn towards him as he was looking at her with sadness and quiet understanding.

 

“Cassandra, I know I wasn’t always… fair to Stephanie… I just wanted her to be safe, to have the chance to grow up and live a normal life” the _like Jason should have_ goes unsaid but she still hears it, still *sees* it and Cass bites down the protests and anger that she feels bubbling up inside of her, he needs to talk, to say whatever he wants to tell her, and she probably needs to hear it. It won’t do anyone any good to argue with him right now about this point.

 

Bruce knows that Steph wasn’t Jason, that they’re two different people but at the same time there’s a small part of him that… doesn’t. When he looked at Stephanie there was a part of him that saw someone else and it was only when he had taken Cass to Jason Todd’s grave did she realize who he saw and that there was a part of him that saw Stephanie as a ghost.

 

Bruce had been so desperate to correct old mistakes that he went and made new ones without fully realizing it and now that Steph was… gone the line between Stephanie Brown and Jason Todd in Bruce’s regrets was becoming more and more blurred.

 

“Stephanie deserved better… you all deserve better and I… Jason’s memorial keeps getting damaged and I don’t… Stephanie deserves better than that… I need to make it perfect but I need time… please Cassie… I’ll make it perfect I just need time” Bruce said holding on to both of her shoulders as though it was the only thing keeping him from collapsing.

 

“Okay,” she said placing her hand on his Bat symbol in what she hopes was a comforting gesture “make it perfect,” she told him as he finally released her and she stepped away from him making her way back up the stairs and out of the cave.

 

He’d make Steph’s memorial perfect and then she could visit it but until then Cass would make sure that she was perfect so that another memorial would never be needed.

 

\---

 

 

The cave would have seemed silent to anyone who wasn’t her when Bruce left, the only sound around them was the quiet hum of the Bat Plane’s engines echoing off the walls with Batman’s departure.

 

Cass has always spoken a different language than the others though shared only by Shiva and Mad Dog, and to her everyone might as well have been screaming. They’d been screaming since Talia had shown up, since she’d spoken to Steph.

 

Cass didn’t like that Talia had spoken to Steph, that, that woman had ever been near her best friend. Cass trusted Steph, she believed in Steph and she knew that Steph could handle herself, she never would have given Steph Batgirl if she didn’t no matter what Bruce said… but still… she didn’t want her best friend to die again.

 

Cass knew she was strong as a fighter but she didn’t think she was strong enough to go through that particular hurt again.

 

She didn’t think Bruce was strong enough to loose Steph, to loose any of them again. She knows that Steph doesn’t think Bruce cared but he did, he cared about all of them. Loosing another might break him.

 

Still Talia brought out a level of hurt in the others for keeping their littlest brother away from them so long and her going after Steph and searching for Jason was just bringing up so many old wounds and hurts.

 

It was making everyone uneasy even if some of them wouldn't say it, she could see it clear as day. Not that Cass was judging, it was making her uneasy as well.

 

There was a time when they had all thought that both Jason and Stephanie were dead, them being linked now was bringing back old memories. Bad ones.

 

Cass hoped she was seeing things that weren’t there but the way Steph was acting when she had left the cave reminded her of something else, when Steph was hiding something from her, an encounter that would be their last for a long, long time.

 

_Are you lying to me?_

Cass didn’t usually doubt herself much, why doubt when you could help? Why doubt when you could act? When you could do something? But right now she really hoped she was worrying for nothing.

 

Steph said that she was going to head home, back to Harper. But her body was saying something else, something like ‘I’ll take care of this’.

 

Cass hoped she was wrong. The league of Assassins were dangerous, she didn’t want Steph any where near them.

 

Maybe… maybe Steph just didn’t want Harper to worry, their friend would notice that Steph came back earlier than usual. Cass was glad her two friends were living together though she knows that Steph feels guilty about continuing on as Batgirl while Harper is trying to be a civilian.

 

Harper’s trying hard to be a good normal friend for her and Steph, she says it’s to ground them both but she’s heard Oracle joke how it’s hard for a girl to be normal when Batgirl is her roommate.

 

But Steph needs Batgirl, Harper didn’t need Bluebird.

 

Harper felt she could do more without a mask, Steph always felt she could do more with. Steph had always put more value on the mask than herself, something Cass could understand but personally she cared about Stephanie Brown more than Spoiler, Robin, or Batgirl.

 

Maybe a vigilante living with a civilian was complicated but vigilantes living with vigilantes’ works, living with Tim was fun and fine but maybe she should get her own place. Then Steph could live with her.

 

Cass smiled at the thought, she’d like that.

 

She tried to focus on nice thoughts like what an apartment with Steph would look like but she couldn’t distract herself from the knot in her stomach.

 

“I’m going after Steph,” Cass declared suddenly breaking the tense few seconds of silence that had been following the Bat Plane leaving the cave.

 

She knows there are other things she should do, she knows that she should be tracking down Shadows but she just needed to make sure Steph would make it home safe. Then this uneasy feeling would go away.

 

Luckily no one told her no, Tim even nodded at her, which made her feel better. She could always count on him.

 

“That’s a good plan, it’s probably not the best for any of us to be out alone when there are League Assassins running around, and I want to check out that building that Steph likes to hang around” Tim said giving Cass a reassuring smile even though she could tell that he was even more worried about Steph than she was.

 

“You’ve been there, show me the way?” Tim asked her even though he could have easily gotten the address from Oracle but still it was nice to be asked, to be relied upon. It made her remember Bludhaven when they were a team, one of the few memories Cass still had of the city that didn’t hurt to think about.

 

Cass nodded as Dick spoke up, she hadn’t been there for most of his time as Batman but there was an authority in his voice that Nightwing usually didn’t have.

 

“Right, you two do that, Robin and I will start investigating the whereabouts of any League Assassins hiding in the city,” Dick ordered while Damian nodded falling back into their practiced partnership.

 

“I know the procedures they are supposed to follow, I can think of a few places worth checking out first” Damian said and unlike where his body would usually scream the desperate need to be found useful that was so often mistaken for arrogance, Damian held himself with worry and determination.

 

Oh Cass realized with a start. Dick and Damian were worried too.

 

It was odd to think about the time she and Tim had been away, the time they had all believed Bruce was dead almost seemed like a blur but Bruce’s death, Batman’s death had resounded through all aspects of Gotham especially among the heroes.

 

After Batman died it was hard for a lot of people to see the point, even Cass herself struggled to see the point for a few seconds. So for the first time since the early days of heroes Gotham was defended primarily by Batman, Robin and Batgirl.

 

They were all new to their roles Dick learning how to be Batman, Damian learning how to be Robin and Steph learning how to be Batgirl. For a while they were a team. Steph is the Batgirl to Damian’s Robin and Damian and Steph were the sidekicks, the partners to Dick’s Batman. They were all responsible for each other especially when Oracle was too busy organizing the rest of the hero community.

 

Of course Dick and Damian were worried just as much as she and Tim were. It was strange to think about yet so obvious at the same time.

 

Her, Tim, Barbara, Dick, Damian… all of them had, had their lives touched by Steph, that was just the kind of person she was. Cass just wished her friend could realize just how important she was to others.

 

“I’ll start looking into chatter online and see if I can pick up anything on the Red Hood’s current location, contact me if you need anything.” Oracle’s voice said through the Bat Computer and that was almost all the dismissal they needed as they all got to work going about their jobs.

 

Black Bat and Red Robin made their way to Steph’s special building as quickly as they could.

 

They stopped just a building away, Cass was glad that Tim wanted to stop even if it was for Steph and to keep her safe she didn’t feel comfortable just walking onto Steph’s building.

 

When Steph had taken Cass there for ice-cream she could tell that it was an important place for Steph and Steph knew Cass could read her, she wanted to show Cass how important she was to her by showing Cass her special place.

 

But Steph had also been tense in a way that made Cass feel like she was intruding on something special and Cass… didn’t want to intrude.

 

Tim had taken his binoculars out and Cass didn’t need to be able to read him to know that his gaze was trained on Steph. He had been tense since this had all started and she could already feel that he was probably blaming himself in some way.

 

Tim was weird about Steph. He wanted to be near her. He wanted to be close to her. He wanted to have back what he thought was lost to him forever but he didn’t let himself try to get it back.

 

Tim was happy that Steph was back, so was Cass but she understood… they would have been happier if Steph hadn’t left at all.

 

But Steph was sorry she had to go, Cass could tell. One thing she knew above all else is that Steph didn’t want to hurt them she wanted them all happy and safe.

 

Steph hadn’t wanted to go away it had just happened.

 

Steph loved them; she wished she could convince her friend that they love her too.

 

Cass knew Tim understood this on some level, knew that Steph hadn’t wanted to leave but he couldn’t stop feeling betrayed that she had let him think she was dead. She wished that Steph and Tim would talk about it or do something, she missed the two of them being together.

 

Cass took out her own binoculars to see how Steph was doing, she didn’t doubt that her friend would be fine but it was still nice to see Steph standing on the rooftop okay even if she looked a bit… impatient, like she was waiting for someone.

 

Maybe Steph knew that they’d follow her here.

 

Something at the edge of the building moved and Cass was already getting ready to move when Tim tensed up as he noticed it.

 

“Well fancy seeing you here,” Red Hood said walking towards Steph, Batgirl turned around as she noticed the Red Hood was there and seemed… relieved? The tension that had been in her shoulders slipping away at the sight of him only for it to come flooding back as Tim’s baterang landed just in front of the Red Hood's foot and Red Robin and Black Bat landed protectively in front of Batgirl.

 

Red Robin already had his staff out, protectiveness and anger coming off him like waves and Black Bat spared a glance at Batgirl who read as nothing but shock and worry before turning back to the Red Hood who had taken a few hurried steps away from the baterang body reeling with surprise and… betrayal.

 

“What are you doing here!?” Batgirl asked almost panicked.

 

“Wanted to make sure you were safe,” Black Bat replied as Batgirl almost flinched at the answer.

 

“You followed me?” Batgirl realized in an almost whisper.

 

“And it’s a good thing we did,” Red Robin almost growled out frustrated that Batgirl could have been in danger if they hadn’t and angry that the Red Hood could have been alone with Batgirl.

 

Realization that Batgirl hadn’t expected for them to be here seemed to dawn on the Red Hood and relief flooded into him that this wasn’t a trap as he took a more confident stance.

 

“Looks like we were right,” Red Robin said shifting his stance so he was in a better position to protect Batgirl while both Batgirl and Red Hood seemed to flinch at his words.

 

They all stood there none of them wanting to make the first move until Red Hood finally spoke.

 

“Okay I’ll bight,” Red Hood said somehow keeping the unease he was feeling out of his voice, his tone almost mocking. “What do you think you were right about replacement?”

 

“That you’ve been keeping an eye on this building since it’s close to your territory,” Red Robin growled out and both Batgirl and Red Hood seemed relieved at his answer.

 

The Red Hood laughed.

 

“Of course I have, how do you think it’s going to look if I let shit slide right outside my front door?” Red Hood asked mockingly “and honestly you think I’m not going to notice a bunch of Bats hanging around?” that’s a lie he didn’t notice them, only Batgirl, he’d been surprised when they showed up.

 

“Well maybe you didn’t notice that Batgirl has a habit of visiting this particular building and because of that Talia Al Ghul cornered her looking for you.” Red Robin growled out and Red Hood froze gaze locking onto Batgirl that she seemed to squirm under.

 

“Is that true?” Red Hood asked quietly, tense, he was worried but not for himself… he was worried for Batgirl?

 

“Yeah…” Batgirl spoke up almost flinching as if she wanted to apologize. “Some league assassins showed up around Gotham and Talia was there, she… she’s looking for you and she… ‘left me alive’ so you owe her now and she wants you to like pick up your phone and talk to her,” Batgirl explained yet it felt like she was holding back, she was telling the truth, that’s what happened but for some reason it felt like she should be saying more.

 

“Shit,” Red Hood muttered.

 

“Yeah,” Batgirl said sounding tiered, this should be the first time these two have met yet they were comfortable with each other, she knew that when Jason was Robin he was like Steph. Bruce compared the two a lot even if he didn’t always openly admit it she could see and Barbara had admitted they were alike back when she had asked before Jason had come back. Maybe that’s why they could act comfortable around each other like Cass and Tim were the dangerous ones here.

 

“Hey where are you going!?” Red Robin yelled as Red Hood started walking away.

 

“I’ll fix it,” was all Red Hood said though his gaze was on Batgirl as he said it like he was promising her everything would be alright before he grappled away.

 

“Damn it,” Red Robin said putting his staff away and going to follow him calling over his shoulder “I’m going after him! Black Bat report this to Oracle and make sure Batgirl gets home safe,” he said and just like that Batgirl whose gaze had been locked onto where the Red Hood had disappeared snapped back to her normal self.

 

“I can handle myself!” Batgirl said already following Red Robin.

 

“Clearly you can’t considering you told all of us you were going home and then tried going after the Red Hood by yourself,” Red Robin accused and both Batgirl and Red Robin flinched at the words, Batgirl at the accusation and Red Robin at the fact that he said something that could hurt her, his emotions warring with each other. Red Robin believed in Batgirl, he really did but his worry and frustration were the things that showed through more often than not.

 

“Black Bat get her home,” he ordered gruffly and she wondered how Batgirl couldn’t hear the lump in his throat as she made the call to Oracle.

 

\---

 

The Bat Plane was moving too slowly; it was made with some of the most sophisticated technology that money could buy and still Bruce couldn’t help but feel as though the plane was moving much, much too slowly.

 

He should have known.

 

He should have realized; it had all been too… convenient. Maybe that’s why he just accepted everything at face value when the Spoiler appeared in Gotham again, when Leslie showed up with Stephanie asking to be let back into the country.

 

Maybe he just wanted something to be convenient for once in his life, to have something be easy.

 

Bruce had gone through hell over and over again but the year after The Gang War had taken so much from him, so much from the people he cared about as he watched his family drift further and further apart, as he looked and saw Tim becoming more like him trying to keep him from the edge but hurdling towards it himself so when they had all gotten something *back* Bruce didn’t question, didn’t want to. He didn’t want to jinx it.

 

Oh course he ran the necessary blood and DNA tests to make sure it was really Stephanie when she had shown up again but when it had all come out clear, that it was apparent that Stephanie was really alive and well he’d dropped it! Just accepted it!

 

He was careless!

 

He’d wanted to believe it; he’d wanted to believe that he hadn’t failed another soldier, that he wasn’t responsible for her death, that he hadn’t driven one of his oldest allies into letting someone die just to prove a point to him.

 

He didn’t want Leslie to be a murderer, he didn’t want Stephanie to be dead, he didn’t want to have failed someone in so many ways so he’d accepted it, didn’t give the story they gave him more than a cursory glance and he should have there were too many holes for anyone who thought about it.

 

He’d tortured himself with Stephanie’s autopsy reports for God’s sake! Barbara had used them in an attempt to scare off Misfit… it was Stephanie’s body… But they were all so relieved that someone they thought they lost was back they’d ignored all the details, all the conflicting evidence.

 

Even him.

 

Bruce could tell himself that it had been for Tim, he’d lost so much in such a short time he needed something back. Bruce could tell himself that it had been for Cassandra who had been through so much in her life that she deserved a gift, a miracle. But really it had been for him.

 

He’d failed Stephanie over and over again more than he’d even failed Jason… two lost soldiers… two dead Robins… they’d both come back and he had been so relieved that Stephanie at least had been as he remembered her, just as frustrating and determined as she had always been. He’d been so relieved that he had been careless and now both Stephanie and Jason might suffer for it.

 

The plane was moving too slowly he’d be back before morning just like he had promised Damian but that wasn’t soon enough, there was too much to do, too many things to check, gritting his teeth with impatience Bruce brought up the planes communicator the other side lighting up in response almost immediately.

 

Efficient as always.

 

“Oracle,” Bruce said simply trying to keep his voice level. He couldn’t let his emotions and past mistakes get in the way here, he needed to keep his mind clear. Letting his emotions get the better of him is what made him careless in the first place.

 

“Batman.” Oracle’s voice came out sounding almost eager the same tone of voice she had always used whenever she would report there was some kind of break in whatever case she was working on. Most of the time that tone would fill him with anticipation and excitement, at the moment though it merely set him on edge.

 

“Report. What’s been going on?” Bruce said more snappishly than he would have liked but he needed as much information as he could get right now, he needed to sort this out, he needed to fix it. Limit the damage to as little as possible.

 

There was a slight pause as Oracle took in the tone of his voice before she replied, keeping her words level and professional but after so many years of working with her he could hear the cautious undertones.

 

“Black Bat and Red Robin went after Batgirl to check the building when they all encountered Red Hood,” Bruce couldn’t stop the sharp intake of breath as he realized what that building actually was, a meet up point. Talia had gone to Stephanie to look for Jason because she knew that Stephanie would know where to find him, Tim and Cassandra had interrupted their meet up.

 

Inwardly he cursed himself, it was all right there if any of them had bothered to look. But they hadn’t bothered to, they always ended up underestimating Stephanie and more often than not they ended up paying for it.

 

Oracle might have realized his shock but mistook it for worry instead of realization because she went on to reassure him “none of them are hurt as soon as Hood heard that Talia had confronted us looking for him, he took off. There’s a high chance he’s going to meet Talia and Red Robin is looking for him now,”

 

“Did he learn that Talia confronted us or just Batgirl?” Bruce asked suddenly, the more he knew what Jason had learned of the situation the easier it would be to predict his second son’s next move.

 

As much as he hated to admit it, to even think it, Jason’s thoughts on the family seemed to be tense at best so if he though that Talia had confronted the family as a whole and since he had been ignoring her there was a high chance Jason would go into hiding which would be unacceptable as Bruce wouldn’t be able to reach him if things got too dangerous. But if Jason had learned that Talia had gone after Stephanie… there was more of a chance of Jason going to Talia herself.

 

“He learned that Talia had talked to Batgirl…” Oracle said carefully seeming to realize that there was more going on “Bruce what happen,” she asked seriously.

 

“Call Batgirl back to the cave,” Bruce ordered as he sent Barbara the footage, there was silence from her end as she received and viewed it.

 

“Oh my… Oh my god!” Oracle exclaimed though if he knew her she was probably already checking to see if the footage was real or if it had been doctored. Bruce could already tell in his gut that it was real but part of him almost wished it wasn’t.

 

“Bruce… you have to let me handle this, Steph’s a good kid.” Oracle began but Bruce only responded with a slight grunt.

 

“I’ll be back soon,” he told her simply turning off the communicator before she could reply.

 

Focusing on the sky again Bruce willed the plane to move faster. It was moving much, much too slowly.

 

\---

 

Though Tim didn’t like Ra’s he’d always liked the name that the man had given Bruce.

 

‘The Detective’.

 

Recently Ra’s had started calling Tim that as well and while Tim’s dislike for the man due to him being a super villain and global terrorist still held strong he was a little proud of having his abilities acknowledged.

 

Out of all the things that he’d liked about being Robin and later Red Robin, investigation of whatever case they were working on was the best moments in his opinion. Putting all the little pieces together was what he was good at and sometimes in an investigation, something small and easily dismissible could be the thing that let you crack the case.

 

Tim had never been able to ignore those small things; they nagged at him until he had a working theory and deduction in his brain. That was how he was able to figure out who Batman and Robin were following them because something about Robin’s jumps just seem so familiar, that’s how he was able to realize Bruce was alive from nothing more than a picture on the wall.

 

Tim would see something that would lead him to the truth and it wouldn’t leave him alone.

 

Sometimes though, other things would take more importance over that small nagging thing pushing it to the back of his mind until something would remind him of it again and it would return with a vengeance.

 

That was what was happening to him now; he’d lost sight of Jason and was circling back around to see if he could find him again.

 

Tim would rather not face Jason alone but they couldn’t let him go into hiding if he was avoiding Talia not when they didn’t know what she was up to, though something told Tim that Jason wasn’t planning on running or hiding. He said he would ‘fix it’ which didn’t really bode well as far as Tim was concerned.

 

Though Jason had acted… odd in that encounter. Not bad actually if anything that was the most pleasant encounter Tim had ever had with his predecessor, Jason seemed on edge but not overly crazy or cruel it was a little weird.

 

Not that Tim was complaining, every fight he’d had with Jason hadn’t exactly ended well for him and he didn’t really want Jason fighting Steph. Steph was capable and she was a great Batgirl but Jason was… well Jason, he was dangerous.

 

Though he hadn’t seemed dangerous just then, if anything he’d seemed… concerned? When he found out Talia had spoken to Steph. If anything that should be making Tim even more worried if something Talia was doing was putting Jason on edge but instead his mind kept on playing back to an incident months ago that didn’t even have anything to do with Jason.

 

It was a little bit after the Titans had helped him deal with Ra’s most of the Titans had been hanging out in the manor's kitchen and Steph had said hi to Connor. Neither really knew how to act with each other never getting to resolve that one incident from when Steph was Robin but it was still nice to see them talk.

 

Tim had always wanted them to get along maybe they could tell that and that’s why they tried to talk at all.

_Steph had actually started it greeting Connor “Yo Superboy nice to see you’re not dead,”_

_Connor had shuffled a bit awkwardly and said, “Yeah, it’s nice that you aren’t dead too.”_

_“Oh I was never actually dead, but it’s good to be back” Steph had told him and Connor had a confused look on his face for a second and anyone who didn’t know him would have missed it but Tim could see it clear as day._

Later Tim had asked Connor what had been wrong and he had said that Steph’s heart had sped up slightly like it did when someone was lying but he couldn’t figure out what Steph would have been lying about so it must have been nothing.

 

For some reason that interaction had kept on nagging at Tim, but there was so many much more things to deal with. Finding Bruce after he’d proven he wasn’t dead, Wayne Enterprises, his Hit List and all his plans so Tim had ignored it and carried on focusing on more important things.

 

But for some reason that event had been playing in his head over and over and it wouldn’t leave him alone no matter how much he tried to focus on the task at hand.

 

Tim didn’t even realize that he had headed to Leslie’s clinic until he was literally right outside. With a sigh he went through the window, he probably wasn’t going to find Jason again tonight so he might as well see where his intuition took him.

 

Leslie started as she entered the office and saw him waiting there.

 

“You’re not here to ask me to be part of another one of your plans are you?” Leslie asked putting her files on the desk and Tim tried to resist the urge to shuffle awkwardly, he hadn’t planned on coming here tonight and he barely even knew what he wanted to ask.

 

“No,” Tim told her as he felt Leslie appraise him slightly looking him up and down.

 

“Well you don’t look injured has something happened to one of the others?” Leslie asked her tone a strange mix of exasperated and worried that only she and Alfred could seem to manage.

 

“No everyone’s fine more or less,” Tim said smirking slightly in reassurance, it was nice to know that Leslie still cared about them even with everything they put her through, sometimes he was still bitter for her helping Steph fake her death but he could appreciate all the good that she did, things were definitely easier with Leslie than without.

 

“I just wanted to ask,” Tim began not really sure himself where this was going “you used a Jane Doe in place of Steph’s body when you faked her death right?” Tim found himself asking and noting the way Leslie’s body seemed to freeze at the question.

 

“…Yes, a poor girl who OD’d she was a similar height and body structure to Stephanie and we figured this way she’d at least get a better burial than she would have otherwise,” Leslie said tense and careful “Why?”

 

Tim fought with himself to not raise an eyebrow at how worried she sounded as he tried to think up an excuse on the spot, “there’s been a string of Jane Doe cases that we think might be connected and I was hoping to see how far back it went,” Tim lied trying to remain calm even as Leslie seemed to relax at his explanation.

 

“I wish I could help but I’m sorry I don’t have any files regarding her anymore,” Leslie apologized as Tim felt his eyes narrow.

 

“Right, a lot of files were doctored around that time,” Tim noted and Leslie looked uncomfortable again and started bussing herself with organizing various files on her desk.

 

“A yes…” Leslie said not meeting his eyes, and a question that Tim couldn’t help but ask burst out of him.

 

“Why did you let us think you killed Steph? I get why you needed to fake autopsy and medical reports but why did you also fake inventory reports to make us think you denied her treatment?” Tim asked, when he had first seen Leslie’s file on the Bat computer marking her as bared from the country he had been too angry to wonder why but when Steph had come back he wondered why she had made them think she’d betrayed them and why Bruce let her.

 

Leslie was very still and neither one said anything standing in silence for a few moments before Leslie said quietly “I didn’t want you to come looking for me, I thought the second you found us Stephanie would be whisked away to fight in his war again, though I guess that happened anyway no matter what I did,” Leslie told him with a sad laugh eyes looking more tiered than Tim had ever seen her even on the worst nights.

 

Trying to keep his composure Tim thanked Leslie for her time and left gritting his teeth as he went to his bike, she was lying he wasn’t sure what she was lying about but he knew she was lying.

 

“Damn it,” Tim whispered to himself as he started riding down the city his next destination already clear in his mind. Bringing up his list of contacts he hits number three on his speed dial.

 

“Tim? Is something wrong?” Connor’s voice comes through after the second ring, sound like he might have just woken up. Maybe he had Tim knew that the Bats were the night owls of the vigilante community and pretty much every community.

 

“Meet me at Gotham cemetery as quickly as you can, there’s something I need to check and I need x-ray vision for it,” Tim explained and he could already hear a whooshing noise, which means Connor, is flying fast.

 

It doesn’t surprise Tim when Connor is already waiting for him at the cemetery when he arrives a worried crease between his eyes as he follows Tim to the grave that Tim used to either spend his time visiting constantly or avoiding like the plague.

 

Steph’s grave.

 

A small Robin was perched on top of the grave and flies away as he and Connor approach. Sometimes Tim honestly thinks the universe likes to mock him.

 

The concerned look Connor has been giving him gives way to confusion as they stop in front of the grave and he reads who the grave belongs to.

 

“Ah… Isn’t this?” Connor begins only for Tim to cut him off, even though he knows that Steph is alive, even though he spoke to her less than an hour ago seeing this grave brings back old grief from one of the worst times in his life and old grief mixes with bitterness that Steph let him grieve her but at the moment that bitterness is being overshadowed by fear and worry. About what it will mean if his deduction is correct and about what it would mean if his deduction were wrong.

 

He honestly didn’t know which outcome he was hoping for.

 

“Yes, it’s her grave from when she faked her death, I need you to look and tell me whether or not a body is there” Tim explained and Connor raised an eyebrow.

 

“If she faked her death wouldn’t the grave be empty anyway?” Connor asked as Tim shook his head.

 

“They buried a Jane Doe in her place, at least that’s what they told us,” Tim explained and the concerned look was back on Connors face, “please… just look,” Tim begged and Connor looked at the grave for a few moments before turning back to Tim looking uncertain.

 

Before Connor even opens his mouth Tim can already tell the answer from the unsure look on Connor’s face. If there were someone in the grave then Connor wouldn’t look uncertain. Apologetic maybe, looking like he was about to try and say something to reassure Tim definitely. But he wouldn’t look uncertain, like he wasn’t sure what this piece of information would do to Tim, like he was debating whether to tell Tim or not.

 

But he does tell him because they’re friends and this is something Tim asked him to do.

 

“The grave is empty.”

 

And with that confirmation all the pieces come crashing down into place.

 

Leslie’s lies. Steph’s actions. Why Talia went to Steph. Why Jason had almost been easy to deal with.

 

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

 

Talia had called Jason, Steph’s brother. Both had worked with Bruce, both dead Robins.

 

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

 

They never figured out how Jason came back, only really knowing that the League of Assassin’s had something to do with it. Without know how it happened… if it happened once then it could happen again.

 

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

 

Steph hadn’t let Tim think she had died… she *had* died and then lied about it so she could come back!

 

Tim was already running back to his bike, he needed to talk to Steph, and Bruce and… damn it he needed to sort this out.

 

“Tim? Tim! What’s going on?” Connor asked concern dripping from his voice as Tim got back on his bike.

 

“I… I think Steph might be in trouble,” was all Tim said as he hit Steph’s number on his speed dial willing for her to pick up as it rang and nearly growling when she didn’t.

 

“Should I call Bart and Cassie? We can help!” Connor tried to reassure as Tim shook his head.

 

“No. This is… this is a Bat problem,” Tim said shaking his head trying to clear his thought, he hadn’t even been there when Steph had died, hadn’t even known that she was being tortured to death when Black Mask had her, hadn’t even known he should have been looking for her. This was something Tim needed to do himself. He couldn’t fail her again.

 

Connor nodded seeming to understand and Tim gave him a small smile to try and reassure his friend “thanks for your help, I’ll call you when everything is settled.” Tim said as he drove off already trying Steph again and this time couldn’t stop the frustrated growl when Steph didn’t pick up.

 

Cass should have taken her home, maybe she was asleep?

Not wanting to cause a panic Tim tried calling Harper first, thankful that she picked up after a few rings.

 

“Harper-“ Tim began only to be interrupted immediately by the blue haired girl.

 

“Red Robin! Holy Shit! Cass is already here but I was going to call you I swear,” Harper said and Tim could already feel worry blooming in his chest.

 

“What happened?” Tim asked to the point already racing to the apartment in the Narrows that Steph shared with Harper and her brother.

 

“The Red Hood broke in looking for Steph,” Harper explained and Tim’s hands tightened over his motorbike’s handles, he was sure that underneath his gloved his knuckles were currently white. “Hang on Cass wants to talk to you she’s got her arm out for the phone,” Harper said and there was a slight shuffling noise that came with phones being handed around from person to person.

 

“Black Bat where’s Batgirl?” Tim asked as soon as he heard the sounds of Cass’s breathing showing that she was listening.

 

“Bat Cave. Oracle wanted to talk.” Cass explained and Tim felt relief wash into him at the news that Steph was safe and secure at the cave, though the fact that Oracle herself had gone to the cave was a bit worrying because it meant that something he wasn’t aware of must have happened.

 

“Heading your way, I want to see that the apartment is secure before we head back to the Cave,” Tim said already planning to put surveillance equipment outside the apartment any where that housed girls like Stephanie Brown and Harper Row at the same time deserved to be monitored.

 

\---

 

Steph really didn’t want to go home yet, she felt too antsy. She wanted to go after Jason but she couldn’t, not with Cass sticking with her. This was the only time being with Cass was a bad thing. Being around the rest of his family made Jason too paranoid and angry.

 

She knew Cass would probably stay with her if they went back to Harper’s place to make sure Steph didn’t sneak off and that might be fun, they could make it a girls night with Harper. They barely got to hang out with her any more now that Harper was a civilian what with Harper rubbing her eight hours of sleep in their faces all the time now but it could be fun hang out just the three of them again.

 

But Steph doubted she would be any fun right now, not with how her thoughts kept circling back to Jason. He was going to make a bad decision she just knew it, Jason barley ever made good decisions.

 

Case and point, acting on that goddamn revenge wall of his.

 

So Steph couldn’t really see herself just sitting down and waiting for the fall out of whatever the hell Jason decided to do, she did that before and it ended well for no one.

 

She managed to convince Cass that they should just patrol around Gotham for a bit, because it wasn’t like normal crime was going to take a break for ninja shenanigans and regular people shouldn’t suffer because Talia was off messing with everyone’s carefully structured lives and if Steph was hoping to catch sight of Jason, or some kind of clue to what the hell Talia thought she was doing that was just an added bonus.

 

Cass was sticking close but Steph could almost pretend like this was a regular patrol and things weren’t in crisis mode. It was nice in the way denial was nice so pretty damn nice if you didn’t think about it too hard.

 

Eventually they heard the sounds of a fight and she and Cass dropped down on a fire escape to see three guys ganging up on one kid, the boy couldn’t have been older than fourteen looking around three years older than Damian and Steph was actually impressed to see him holding his own despite being outnumbered, he was quick and pretty light on his feet but he was still outnumbered and being backed against a wall.

 

Steph smirked at Cass who gave her, a smirk of her own as they dropped down to stand behind the kid in the yellow hoodie before his back hit the wall.

 

“Now I don’t know how this disagreement started boys but don’t you think three on one is a bit unfair?” Steph asked playfully as Cass cracked her knuckles and smiled at the punks.

 

“Three on three,” Cass pretty much purred and Steph couldn’t stop her grin widening if she tried.

 

The boys in the alley paled significantly and ran out of the alley before she and Cass could even blink.

 

“If we see you near our turf again you’re dead meat Thomas!” one of them called out but the boy in question rolled his eyes as if he either didn’t think they’d go through with the threat or wasn’t too impressed by threats yelled while running away.

 

“You going to be okay getting home Thomas?” Steph asked after a moment of silence and the kid nearly jumped out of his skin as if he had expected them to leave before he turned around which, rude, she wasn’t Bruce.

 

“Ah my name is Duke, Thomas is my last na- forget it, ah thanks. Thank you I mean and yeah, I mean yes I will be fine getting home,” the kid, Duke said looking a little star struck and Steph couldn’t help but smile at that.

 

“Your injuries, do you need help?” Cass asked as Duke hesitantly touched his swollen lip as if he only realized it was there along with the black eye he was forming.

 

“Oh… no, I’m good. I’ll be fine,” Duke, said, trying to reassure them, as he started heady out of the alley “thanks again,” he called waving to them.

 

“You want to follow him to make sure he gets home safe?” Steph asked the second Duke was out of sight. Cass seemed to think for a moment before nodding and Steph grinned only to hear the sound of Oracle’s voice coming through their coms.

 

“Black Bat, Batgirl where are you?” Oracle’s voice asked strained and argent putting them both on high alert.

 

“We’re right here O,” Steph said, “I’m with Black Bat doing some patrol work since we didn’t get to finish up earlier, Black Bat is keeping an eye on me in case Hood shows up” Steph reassured and Oracle was silent for a moment before responding.

 

“Batgirl I want you back in the cave this instant, Black Bat continue your investigation. This is an order.” Oracle said hanging up before either of them could say anything or ask any questions.

 

Cass raised an eyebrow but Steph just shrugged.

 

“You go make sure the kid gets home safe, I’ll go check in with O” Steph said and Cass frowned at the thought of them separating.

 

“I’ll be fine. I know better than to disobey Oracle most of the time, especially when I can get caught and as I said normal people should still be safe when all this crazy is going on and besides I’m just going to the cave I’ll be fine” Steph said and Cass’s frown didn’t lessen but she did nod so the two of them separated to complete their respective tasks.

 

Despite the night she had been having the journey to the Bat Cave was uneventful though Steph knew better than to not know something was up when Oracle was in the cave and not on the Bat Computer’s screen.

 

Barbara was waiting for her; her face tense and they were the only two in the cave, Alfred nowhere in sight. Despite the dread Steph could feel building from the situation she couldn’t help but feel a slight pang of nostalgia for her early Batgirl days with just the two of them in the cave together.

 

“Hey O what’s the sitch?” Steph asked jokingly trying to keep things light though that only seemed to cause Barbara’s frown to deepen.

 

Wordlessly Oracle pressed a button on the Bat Computer and a blank screen blared to life playing out a scene that Steph had seen many times in her nightmares.

 

The Lazarus Pit.

 

“Something you would like to tell me?” Barbara asked; though Steph could barley hear her over the roar in her ears.

 

“Where did you get this?” Steph asked quietly eyes locked onto the screen.

 

“Never mind where I got it! You’ve been in contact with Jason Todd for who knows how long and-“

 

“Since I died,” Steph interrupted though her brain wasn’t really recognizing that she had just interrupted *Oracle* her mind reliving the burning sensation that past her was going through on the screen.

 

“…Since you what,” Barbara said almost shocked, distantly Steph wondered what expression the she had on her face but finding out would require pulling herself away from the damming footage.

 

“I lied. Black Mask killed me… Jason helped bring me back, he dug up my body and kind of stole it… and put me in the pit, can you please turn that off?” Steph asked and maybe it was the desperation in her voice or whatever face Steph was making but Oracle wordlessly turned off the footage and Steph felt like she could breath again.

 

“You said Jason helped bring you back?” Barbara asked and Steph was a bit stunned for a moment before she remembered that that they were having a conversation.

 

“I… I guess, I’m honestly a bit fuzzy with the details from the early days,” Steph admitted, as Barbara seemed to absorb that information.

 

After a moment Barbara asked “why?”

 

Steph couldn’t help but shrug. Wasn’t that the question Steph had asked herself over and over since she came back to life? Why did he help her so much? Why care about her so much? Steph tried to voice the answers she had tried to come up with herself.

 

“I think… Jason wanted someone like him. He kept on saying he understood what I was going though but I think more than anything he wanted someone who understood what he was going through. I mean there are a lot of similarities between us drug addict moms and fathers going in and out of jail most of our childhood and we both worked for Bruce and had our issues with him… there was a lot of random life stuff to talk about. I think… I think Jason just wanted someone to talk to, he doesn’t really have many friends, it can get lonely.” Steph said, as Barbara seemed to take all of it in.

 

"So let me get this straight," Barbara said rubbing her eyes and looking so, so tiered.

 

"You actually died, you didn't fake your death you died." Barbara stated and Steph really couldn't tell if it was anger or sadness lacing her voice at this point "and you're saying Jason dug you up and brought you back from the dead after you actually died! Because he was lonely?"

 

"I mean... who isn't sometimes right?" Steph tried because she doubted she could make the situation that much worse.

 

“Why?” Barbara seethed “in all this time since you’ve been back in Gotham, since you’ve been Batgirl after everything you know Jason’s done didn’t you tell anyone about this!?” Barbara asked and Steph almost flinched back.

  
  
“In my defense who was I even going to tell?” Steph said defensively feeling slightly hysterical at this point due to worlds colliding and there was no way any of this wasn’t going to end awfully for her so she might as well go all in right?

 

“I mean no offense to you guys but before I died none of you were exactly the kind of people I could confide in, with stuff like this. In fact most of you were kind of assholes” Steph paused as she realized what she just said and began wondering at what point did her brain to mouth filter check out when this conversation started. “Okay maybe some offense but my point is Tim and Cass were the people I was closest to back then, and Tim was being all moody and silent and hard to talk to so I couldn’t exactly tell him about Jason and Cass was constantly in and out of Gotham so much I didn’t have time to tell her anything!”

 

“You could have trusted us,” Bab’s said and Steph had to push down old bitterness that despite everything, despite the hypocrisy, the sad tone of Barbara’s voice was filling her up with guilt.

 

Steph took a breath and in as even a voice as she could manage asked “why?” Barbara looked as if that one word threw her off balance so Steph elaborated even though it kind of hurt her, even though it was bringing up some old wounds that Steph thought would have healed by now, “trust… trust is a two way street Bab’s… you guys kept lots of secrets from me…” Barbara looked like she was about to argue but Steph held up a hand to show that she was still talking.

 

It was taking all of Steph’s will power not to cry right now, this was more emotionally exhausting than she had thought it would be and she had already assumed that whatever happened when the truth came out would be pretty damn emotionally exhausting.

 

“The only reason I actually know everything *now* is because of Jason, he told me all the big secrets because he felt after everything I deserved to know. I know things are…” Steph paused as she struggled to find the right words that wouldn’t make that whole situation sound understated.

 

“I know Jason is a difficult topic…” Steph winced at her word choice, well that was certainly putting it one way she guess “but Jason was very good to me,” despite how tense the conversation was and the carefully calculated calm over Bab’s face that Steph knew was probably hiding who knew how many emotions Barbara raised a playful, questioning eyebrow causing Steph to roll her eyes.

 

“Get you’re mind out of the gutter O! Jason’s a gentleman!” Steph said before adding on awkwardly “you know minus the crime boss thing,”

 

“But he really was nice to me, I really do think he just wanted a friend. He read to me and got me piano lessons and brought me presents when he came back from his trips… he kept me safe, he helped me through coming back to life which kind of sucks a lot by the way not that I’m not happy being alive and all-“

 

“Steph,” Barbara interrupted getting Steph back on track before she could go off onto a tangent.

 

“Look what I’m saying is all Jason has ever been to me is a friend who has given me trust and respect, to the point where I’m honestly kind of shocked that he did the things he did. Don’t get me wrong I knew what he was capable of but he also made sure to let me know he’d never hurt *me*, he was my friend and because I lost touch with most of my ‘normal’ friends from being dead, not that I really had a lot to begin with to be honest, and Tim had become all dark and broody and Cass was off on Bat mission after Bat mission for a while there he was like the only friend I had! … I mean expect for maybe Leslie but things get awkward there sometimes you know?”

 

“So at the time I wasn’t exactly willing to betray my friend, because let me tell you, he would view it as a betrayal, to the people who up to that point had been all ‘go home Stephanie’, ‘you’re not cut out for this Stephanie’, ‘you’re not good enough Stephanie’, ‘we don’t respect you Stephanie’”

 

“Steph that’s not fair!”

 

“Don’t talk to me about not fair!” Steph screamed before she could stop herself and like some kind dam had broken words she had been holding in, words that were probably going to get her in some serious trouble, came spilling out.

 

“Not fair is being promised to be trained only to be fired and locked out of the Bat Cave and then be promised to be trained again only to be fired and locked out of the Bat Cave again over and over like some incredibly fucked up cycle. Not fair is only getting to learn your boyfriends’ real name because it was convenient for Bruce at the time. Not fair is being ‘made’ *Robin* and that no matter how much it meant to me it was just some game to lure Tim back. Not fair is being fired over one mistake, over disobeying orders ***** one* time to try and save Batman’s life despite the fact that every other Robin disobeys orders on a regular basis. Not fair is messing up so badly that the city falls into a gang war, so many people die and getting tortured by a man who said he’d never forget the sound of your bones breaking and then *dying* all because no one trusted you enough with anything even remotely important!”

 

Steph could have gone on, god there were so many thing in her life that weren’t fair but Barbara had taken her hand in a sort of comforting gesture and it was only then that Steph realized she was crying.

 

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Steph said over and over as she quickly rubbed the tears from her eyes.

 

“No… don’t be” Barbara said squeezing her hand reassuringly “Steph-“

 

Steph interrupted her not really wanting to hear any apologies or excuses at the moment, more than anything she wanted this conversation to be over so with a tiered sigh she forced herself to look Barbara in the eye and ask “what… do you want to know O? What do you want me to say?”

 

Barbara opened her mouth just as the sound of the Bat Plane’s engines sounded out from another part of the cave signaling Bruce’s return, which was just _awesome_ timing on his part.

 

Steph didn’t know whether to sigh or to groan, Barbara looked like she was having the same problem.

 

Bruce got out of the plane and started walking towards them his expression nearly unreadable, some kind of determination in his every step his gaze locked onto Steph and she hated how much of a mess she must look right now tear marks streaming down her face but she resisted the urge to rub at them.

 

She wasn’t going to show weakness in front of Bruce. Not now not ever.

 

Despite how many times Steph had told herself that she had grown, that she had changed, that she was more than that angry little girl who put on a costume to get back at her dad, somehow as Bruce finally came to a stop in front of her and Barbara he made her feel like she was fourteen all over again. Way over her head, but with too much to prove to back down even an inch.

 

“Oracle, I need to speak with Batgirl alone for a minute” Bruce said his voice leaving no room for argument, too bad because an argument was what he was going to get Steph thought as she clenched her fists tightly.

 

Though Barbara reminded her that no matter how much Bruce made her feel as though she was fourteen again, things were different now, this time she sometimes had people in her corner because instead of leaving her to Bruce’s wrath like a part of Steph expected her to, Barbara wheeled her chair over so that she was between Steph and Bruce looking at the god damn Batman with her own original Batgirl glare of defiance.

 

“No,” Barbara said slowly and Steph didn’t know how it was possible considering Bruce had already seemed tense but he stiffened at Barbara’s words.

 

“Barbara…” Bruce began and even though she had known the man since she was fourteen Steph honestly couldn’t tell whether or not Bruce’s voice was tiered or impatient. If it was just Steph here alone talking to him she would say his voice was impatient and nothing else, if Bruce had been talking to any of the others, if he had been talking to Dick or Tim or even Barbara so long as Steph wasn’t the conversation topic she would have said it was tiered.

 

Despite all evidence to the contrary sometimes she knew that Bruce didn’t actually like arguing with the people he cared about and Bruce might not care about Steph but she honestly had no idea how the others couldn’t see how much he cared about them.

 

“No Bruce I will handle it! Steph and Cass are my responsibility before yours, Batgirl has always been my responsibility” Barbara was saying not letting Bruce get a word in edgewise as Steph pinched the bridge of her nose trying to calm herself down taking a deep breath and pointedly ignoring the way it shuddered.

 

“Are you going to try and fire me again?” Steph asked because that’s all it really came down to in the end whether or not Bruce moved the hoop she has to jump through again and she has to show that she can do this or die trying.

 

Well *try* to fire her is the operative word, just like she had told him when he had come back bat symbol or not Bruce didn’t have the right to take Batgirl away from her no one did and even if they did take Batgirl away all that would mean was that she would loose some of the cooler toys, she’d still be out there as Spoiler trying to save as many people as she could.

 

Steph wasn’t here for Bruce or any of the rest of them.

 

She was here for Gotham.

 

Her city. Her people.

 

And she would be damned if anyone tried to stop her from protecting them.

 

Bruce and Barbara paused looking at her with an almost surprised expression, of those two could ever be surprised, as if they’d hadn’t expected her to speak, which they probably hadn’t but they should’ve considering that the conversation was about her.

 

Bruce opened his mouth to speak when Barbara cut him off with a glare so cold it could have come from one of Mr. Freeze’s guns.

 

“No,” Barbara said still glaring at Bruce as if she was daring him to challenge her.

 

“Cool,” Steph said simply because she really didn’t have the energy to say anything else, before she started heading towards her bike where it was parked with the rest of the vehicles.

 

“Steph where are you going?” Barbara called after her as Steph waved her dismissively like she was waving away the words. She was too tiered for this too much had happened at once and she just wanted to go back to yesterday where her life with Jason and her life with the rest of the Bats was entirely separate and she knew where she stood in each of those lives.

 

“I figured you two were going to have one of those discussions where you talk about me like I’m not here so I figured it might be better if I’m not actually here,” Steph called back getting onto her bike, she’d only just gotten this one.

 

Sometimes Steph wondered if the reason they kept giving purple colored things was because they decided she had a theme going on or that they literally just didn’t know if she liked any other colors.

 

Steph shook her head as revved up the bike ignoring Barbara’s calls after her as she launched down the exit tunnel.

 

What Steph actually meant to the Bats was a box that she should not touch, just like the Black Mask box and the Lazarus Pit box, and the box about her parents…

 

Leslie telling Steph she also had a habit of forcing herself into denial was also a big box she wasn’t touching.

 

She is the picture of emotional and mental health.

 

Leslie didn’t know what she was talking about.

 

Steph was distracted from her thoughts when she noticed that the blast doors at the end of the passage were beginning to close. Usually when the motion sensors detected an exiting vehicle those doors opened, she rode right up to the blast doors and they still remained closed and unmoving.

 

Steph waved her arms around for the motion sensors and even kicked the blast doors for good measure but nope those doors were remaining shut.

 

Steph raised an eyebrow at the camera that she knew was there before heading back up the tunnel knowing there was nothing she could do to get the doors open from where she was.

 

The sight of locked Bat Cave doors wasn’t exactly new to her but usually she was on the other side when they were locked.

 

Barbara was waiting for her, right next to the vehicle platform and that was a surprise, Steph has thought that the all powerful Oracle had stopped her from leaving because Steph didn’t let her get the last word and they hadn’t actually finished their conversation slash explanation when Bruce showed up.

 

Instead it was Batman at the computer, the camera feeds from the tunnel still visible, so they had been watching.

 

“You were a bit too eager there B-man,” Steph called up trying to keep her voice light and the dread down. Of course he wouldn’t let her leave until he got answers to all the questions he wanted, of course he wouldn’t even give her a moment to get herself together. “You’re supposed to lock the doors after I leave, locking me out of the Bat Cave only works if I’m, you know, outside the Bat Cave”

 

For a second she thought she saw him flinch but she was pretty sure she imagined it. Batman didn’t flinch and if he did it wouldn’t be because of her.

 

“Steph,” Barbara began before Bruce’s authoritative voice spoke over her in an order.

 

“You’re not going anywhere,”

 

Now Steph had never really been as badly affected by the Lazarus Pit as Jason had, a benefit of having someone who knew what she was going through talk her through it, not having Talia whisper things in her ear like ‘you go unavenged’ like some reverse Hamlet BS like Jason had and sitting through regular therapy sessions with Leslie that the good doctor had insisted on in Africa and had continued when they came back to Gotham.

 

She had agreed to them mostly for Leslie’s sake, the older woman had been desperate in the beginning to do something to help Steph, to make things right but even Steph had to admit that they really did help push some of the thoughts that felt green and violent and bitter and foreign, like some thing else had shoved them into her head away.

 

Different techniques and advice helping her ignore little whispers before they became anything more than that.

 

Steph felt as though she had a strong grasp on herself but even she had limits and wounds she didn’t want salt rubbed in and she was only just putting herself back together from her disastrous final semester of her first year of college and tonight she was being pushed to the edge and then some.

 

So she wasn’t really in the mood to play by nice for Bruce right now.

 

“See you’ve got your catch phrase mixed up there,” Steph found herself saying before she even really knew she was even talking, “this is the part where you tell me to quit and then change all the locks”

 

“Steph!” Barbara said again trying to work her way in between them.

 

“No don’t worry O, I know what this is, he’s got some questions he wants answers to *before* he let’s the door hit me on the way out,” Steph said clasping her hands together to try and stop them from shaking and praying to anyone who would listen that she was only imagining the hysterical tilt her voice was taking.

 

“So what do you want to know?” Steph asked faking cheerfulness, “I’m guessing from the home movie Oracle showed me, you’ve been talking to Ra’s and I think I know what you’re wondering,” Steph began listing off answers to questions she knows Bruce will want to interrogate out of her.

 

“Surprise! I lied about lying about being dead. I actually *was* dead which sucks but who hasn’t died at one point or another am I right? And I didn’t lie to you all completely I *was* with Leslie in Africa just not as long as you thought I was, Jason dropped me off with her when he went to enact his murder revenge plan and before you ask, no I had nothing to do with it I was a bit busy dealing with realizing I was killed and unkilled. Jason and I do meet up occasionally to talk about stuff but we don’t talk about work he tells me nothing about his crime lord stuff and I tell him nothing about Bat shenanigans. All we talk about are my classes and his books and what dying and being dead feels like can I go now?!”

 

After that little rant Steph was honestly impressed with herself that she wasn’t panting especially considering how out of breath she felt, maybe she wasn’t even as red in the face as she thought even with the sudden bout of hysteria that came from the jenga tower that was her life collapsing in front of her eyes.

 

Talia couldn’t have just contacted her in private. Nope. That would have been too easy and Steph might have thought the universe actually liked her.

 

Bruce and Barbara hadn’t said anything yet after her little spiel the only sound in the cave was the flutter of the Bats before Bruce finally spoke.

 

“No,”

 

Steph jerked up to glare at the platform Bruce was standing on, “… I’m sorry,” Steph, said disbelief coloring her voice yet still sound eerily, dangerously calm. “I don’t think I got that,”

 

Barbara tried to put a hand on Steph’s arm but she jerked it away her eyes remained fixed on Bruce whose mouth was drawn into a tight line as he answered her.

 

“There’s still too much we don’t know about Talia’s plans in the city or Jason’s involvement in them that we need answers to, until we have those answers you need to remain here,”

 

“Why!?” Steph couldn’t help but scream those few seconds of calm disserting her, “all I am to Talia is some pet or toy to keep Jason happy at best and I’m not part of any of Jason’s plans he literally only brought me back because he wanted to have someone to talk to that knew what it was like to be screwed over by you what could you possibly gain from keeping me here!?”

 

Bruce didn’t move just staring down at her face as impassive and unimpressed as it was the day he fired her as Robin. When he realized that making her his partner wasn’t going to have Tim come crawling back and he didn’t have a use for her anymore.

 

Then the realization struck her.

 

Oh. Oh… so that’s what this is about.

 

Not her. Never her. The most she was to this man was just a way to manipulate the kids he actually cared about.

 

That’s why she found out Tim’s name.

 

That’s why she got made Robin.

 

That’s why she got made Batgirl.

 

And now that’s why he wouldn’t let her leave the Bat Cave instead of the opposite.

 

Steph couldn’t help it- a laugh bubbled out of her, tears appearing at the corners of her eyes threatening to spill over. Covering her mouth didn’t stop more laughs from spilling out and she doubled over, stomach aching and her entire body was shaking.

 

Distantly some part of her mind could feel Barbara trying to calm her down, calling her name with a worried tone that was usually reserved for when Steph really messed up and her life was in danger but Steph really couldn’t bring herself to care, she knows that she probably was entering hysterics and this was giving Bruce even more of a reason not to respect her.

 

That last thought caused another laugh to slip through her fingers at the thought of Bruce actually respecting *her* because that was never going to happen! Steph wasn’t sure what she was laughing at now that or the thought that she had actually changed from the little girl who died trying to prove herself to a man she had been nothing more than a means to an end for on a good day.

 

She was pretty sure that she was actually crying now laughter and sobs mixing together and bouncing off the cave walls but she honestly couldn’t bring herself to care because it was all just. So. God. Damn. Fucking. Funny.

 

“Oh my god,” Steph finally managed to gasp out once she felt like she could form actual words as she attempted to straiten herself. “You are the worst. The actual worst person in the world. Oh my god.” Another sound that she wasn’t sure on whether it was a laugh or a sob burst from her lips but she paid it no mind instead just focusing on wiping away the tears spilling on to her cheeks. “God, Jesus, fuck… you really are the worst, such an awful person. So, so, awful”

 

This was probably the first time she had ever seen Bruce speechless and that despite the fact that her stomach was cramping now and their was barley any air getting to her lungs, that caused a whole new wave of laughter to make it’s way out of her. Distantly Steph wondered if this is what victims of Joker venom felt like, or many this is just what having a psychotic break felt like. She’d finally reached the limit of the Bull Shit Bruce threw at her that she could handle and it was all too fucking funny.

 

“You know I’m surprised you hate me as much as you do what with all the times you use me to manipulate your own god damn kids,” Steph said breathless, her tone almost teasing “I mean first Tim… god did you know I used to consider him the best thing to ever happen to me before you came along and fucked all that up? Then Cass, I get it we all know she’ll be Batman one day but the only way she’d ever properly get on that path would be for her to stop clinging to Batgirl too bad for you that the only way that you could get her to give it up was for her to give it to *me* but then again you were expecting to be dead when that happened so I just counted myself lucky that you didn’t make up whatever reason you could to fire me first chance you got like you did when you realized that making me Robin wouldn’t bring Tim back”

 

Steph paused as a thought suddenly occurred to her as she remembered Jason’s words as he talked to her back when she was still trying to reorient herself after the burn of the Pit and everything happening so fast. Jason mostly muttered apologies over and over but he also talked about Tim and Bruce and how Tim had already been back in his Robin suit back when she was being tortured, back when she was dying in a hospital bed in Leslie’s clinic.

 

_God Stephanie, I’m so fucking sorry, fuck what was I thinking!? But… but you needed to know… at least the kid waited a few months before taking my suit he replaced you before you were even dead…_

“Although…” Steph said thoughtfully with a grin as she tried to bring her thoughts back to the here and now, “I know I’m a bit unclear on all the details considering .A. Jason was my source for the goings on in Gotham for a bit there and he’s a bit biased against Tim and .B. At the time of it I was a bit busy being tortured for days and then you know dying but the gang war actually *did* bring Tim back to being Robin that or my death, as I said unclear but still I guess your plan worked out in the end after all so good for you,” she said almost teasing.

 

The breath got sucked out of the cave and the only sign of reaction from Bruce was him balling his hands into fists.

 

“And now,” Steph managed to choke out in between her laughter, “and now hey look at that you’ve got a way to manipulate Jason too! What are you hoping to get out of using me as a pawn in this particular scenario hmm? The places he visits when he’s not the Red Hood? The number to his burner phone?” Steph barked a laugh “you know I knew it was only a matter of time until you decided I was convenient again but if it was for someone other than Tim or Cass I had always expected you to use me in some ploy against Damian or Bab’s or maybe even Dick next before Jason but I guess I overestimated my self and my ability to keep everyone in my life happy but then again you always *did* say I never had any skills or talent”

 

With that it was like Steph’s common sense finally caught up with the rest of her body, something clenched inside of her and the humor faded until Steph honestly couldn’t say why it had all felt so funny just a second ago. Now all she felt was tiered, and hollow and numb.

 

“This is the part where you kick me out now,” Steph said quietly.

 

There was a pause that somehow last both a second and eternity before Bruce finally turned back towards the Bat Computer and said “I’ll contact Alfred and tell him you’re staying the night” as if Steph’s little break down hadn’t even happened.

 

Maybe he hadn’t even listened to her, elevator music or the next steps to his plan playing in his head while she talked.

 

With a sigh Steph finally dragged her eyes away from Batman where they had been fixed and wordlessly started making her way to the cave steps, she didn’t trust that she’d be allowed to use the cave elevator.

 

“Steph where are you going?” Barbara called after her but Steph didn’t look back, she just wanted to get out.

 

“I figured if you won’t open the blast doors I’ll just use the front door,” Steph called over her shoulder, it wasn’t exactly the most brilliant plan but for all the Bat paranoia that she had picked up over the years all her plans focused on what to do if she ever got locked out of the cave again, she had no idea what to do when locked in.

 

There was a guest room she was allowed to sleep in the manor when cases kept her in the cave too late or she was too injured to make it back to Harper’s place, but considering the awkwardness and not wanting to overstay her welcome she rarely ever used it. Steph didn’t exactly bring a lot of things there, the only thing that might signify the room, as hers were the purple drapes but she was pretty sure she had some clothes stored there.

 

If not she could always borrow something from Cass’s room. Cass might live with Tim at his place but her room still had clothes that Steph could borrow.

 

It was a bit of a, very long walk between Wayne Manor and any chance of civilization or a safe distance where she could call a cab but Steph had been left in worse situations so she’d manage.

 

Bruce and Barbara didn’t try to stop her as she left and she couldn’t decide whether or not she was relieved or disappointed.

 

\---

 

Barbara couldn’t help but feel as though she had failed in some monumental way as she watched Steph walk up the steps of the cave and out of sight.

 

She was, she was responsible for her, and she had created Batgirl. Steph and Cass were her responsibility, her legacies and yet she hadn’t noticed this any of this not Steph’s connection to Jason and not the wounds littering Steph’s heart.

 

No, Barbara thought bitterly. She’d noticed them; she’d noticed how desperately Steph always felt as though she had something to prove. She just chose to ignore it.

 

Not for the first time Barbara found herself cursing her younger self, she was always so sure that she had everything figured out until a few years would go by and she’d realize just how little she had truly known.

 

Of course Bruce had been Steph’s mentor before Barbara had, Stephanie had been Robin before she had been Batgirl. Barbara turned to Bruce who was still staring at the point where Steph had disappeared from their line of sight before he put a hand on the computer desk as if to steady himself.

 

“Bruce,” Barbara began slowly channeling all the frustration she felt, at herself, at Bruce, at her past mistakes and this whole situation into ice in her voice. “I hope to god that Steph was wrong and you’re not planning-“

 

“She’s remaining here for her own safety,” Bruce said interrupting her there was something in his voice that Barbara couldn’t put a name to, “Stephanie currently has the attention of Talia and Jason… I’ve only ever… I just wanted her to be safe,” Bruce said turning his attention back to the screen.

 

“Master Bruce?” Alfred’s voice came from the computer indicating that he had picked up the phone that connected the Cave to the Manor.

 

“Alfred, Batgirl will be staying the night,” Bruce reported and Barbara felt her hands tighten on the arms of her chair.

 

“Ah, a sleep over then. I will bring some new sheets to her room.” Alfred stated mentioning the room they had given Steph, Alfred had some thoughts about the eggplant curtains they’d used to claim it as Steph’s considering it clashed with the rest of the rooms color scheme.

 

“That would be good but Alfred… it’s very important that she doesn’t leave for her own safety,” Bruce said trying to keep his voice level. Alfred probably noticed if Barbara knew Bruce well enough to notice that Alfred who had raised the man probably saw more than she did.

 

“Ah due to the incident with Miss Al Ghul I presume. I wouldn’t worry Master Bruce, this house has seen it’s fair share of children trying to sneak out. I doubt Miss Stephanie has any tricks I have not seen.” Alfred almost reassured before Bruce thanked him and ended the call.

 

There was a silent pause, the cave so quiet you could hear a pin drop as Bruce seemed to collect himself before he brought up various files on the screen.

 

“Where are the others?” Bruce asked his voice strained and Barbara signed unsure whether she was more tiered or angry.

 

“Nightwing and Robin are investigating where Talia’s assassins are hiding, Black Bat has gone off to look for the Red Hood after his encounter with her, Red Robin and Batgirl and Red Robin said he wanted to conduct his own investigation into something, knowing him we won’t know what until he’s got something substantial.” Barbara reported the goings on of the others not really changing since when she had planned to report it to Bruce before he showed her that damn video.

 

Bruce grunted as he brought up files of reports of the Red Hoods activities and Batgirl’s mission statements, seeing where they overlapped, trying to find what they had missed.

 

“You know she was about to talk to me before you came in,” Barbara couldn’t stop herself from saying as Bruce all but froze. “If you had listened to me and let me handle it, this would have-“

 

“She was Robin before she was Batgirl, she was my responsibility before she was ever yours” Bruce cut her off and Barbara felt the anger and indignation rise up.

 

“Well you never acted like it!” she pretty much growled and she was almost satisfied to see Bruce flinch “I went along with you trying to stop her back when she was Spoiler because it was obvious to anyone how much she was like Jason but even with every similarity she’s *not* Jason Bruce she never was,” and Barbara felt some of the anger fade away at that statement as relief poured in, in its place, that at least despite all the similarities Jason and Stephanie had at least they had come back differently. At least Stephanie had come back to them still herself.

 

“We need to be better for her Bruce,” she said quietly heart clenching at the thought of the part she played in pushing one of the strongest people she knew to their very breaking point. “We need to be so much better,”

 

\---

 

Steph was right she did have clothes here!

 

Well an oversized shirt that she mostly used to sleep in when she had to stay at the manor, a pair of old jeans, and a jacket that she was pretty sure had been stolen from Tim because she knew she couldn’t afford to buy anything this nice for herself but still clothes!

 

Now she just needed a game plan because she did realize the manor probably had better security than just the front door but she would figure it out as she went. As a vigilante breaking and entering was practically part of the job description and she’d spent a lot of her high school years breaking into the god damn Bat Cave breaking out of some place couldn’t be any harder than breaking in, it was just the same concept but in reverse right?

 

Right.

 

And yeah part of Steph did realize that they all knew where she lived so Bruce would know where she was even if she did leave. Unless she wanted to go to one of Jason’s safe houses but that wouldn’t really help her case… whatever it didn’t matter if they could still find her after she left it was more the principle of the thing than anything else.

 

Just as Steph opened to door to put her daring escape into action, Alfred was waiting on the other side hand raised as if he was about to knock a tray of tea in the other hand.

 

Alfred’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of her, which might be fair considering that Steph felt a little bit… completely drained and exhausted and she hadn’t exactly had the chance to wash her face so tear tracks were probably still visible and her eyes were probably even more red and puffy than they felt but whatever it was fine. She was fine.

 

Alfred had more tact than all of them combined so thankfully he didn’t say anything merely stepping into the room and placing the tea tray on the desk.

 

“Ah Miss Stephanie, Master Bruce told me you were spending the night, I believe Miss Cassandra stored some of your night clothes in her own room.” Alfred stated.

 

Steph plastered on a fake smile as she took the tea that he handed her and hoped her voice didn’t sound hoarse despite how sore her throat felt.

 

“Nah, don’t worry about it Alfred I’m about to head out,” Steph said as Alfred raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“Are you now?” Alfred said in a tone of voice that was usually reserved for when Tim was working to late or one of the others wanted to go out on an injury “it was my understanding that you were to remain here until the situation with Miss Al Ghul was settled."

 

Steph couldn’t help it she scoffed, in front of Alfred. Maybe her earlier hysteria hadn’t quite left her just yet.

 

“Not really, B just wants me to be on hand so that firing me will be easier for him later. Why go out and look for me to fire when he can just call me down stairs and kick me to the curb that way you know?” Steph said and given past experience it was the thing that made the most sense so there was no reason for Alfred to start as though she had said something unreasonable or unexpected.

 

“I wasn’t aware that you had done anything that was worth being fired over lately Miss Stephanie,” Alfred said carefully looking at her as if he was trying to piece something together.

 

Steph rolled her eyes “he’s never needed a real reason before,” she explained and he could always make one up on the spot. “You know other than the fact that he hates me”

 

Alfred straightened and examined her as if he was looking at her for the first time whatever he saw there caused the older man to sigh.

 

When he finally spoke Alfred’s voice was tiered and sad.

 

“Miss Stephanie… Master Bruce has never hated you, there’s something I have never told anyone but on the day he met you… the first time he met ‘The Spoiler’ after your father had been arrested and Master Tim had returned to his home for the night Master Bruce was… shaken by his encounter by his encounter with you. He told me that he had met someone that reminded of Master Jason and that hurt him.”

 

Steph didn’t say anything simply staring at the tea in her hands, thumbing the edge of the china no longer being able to feel any warmth from the drink.

 

“At the time we all believed that encounter would be our only one with you but when it became apparent that you were becoming a regular among the rooftops I believe that the reason Master Bruce continually discouraged you was some misguided attempt to save a ghost,” Alfred continued wincing slightly “it was not through any fault of your own Miss Stephanie, Master Bruce simply could not stand to watch another child get hurt especially one that reminded him so much of the one he lost. Whatever was said down in the cave I’m sure was merely the product of old wounds being touched upon. I promise you Miss Stephanie he worried but he never hated you, not for a second,”

 

“What about you?” Steph asked suddenly and if she was talking to anyone other than Alfred then they might have looked shocked at her speaking up. But she was talking to Alfred though, Bat Butler extraordinaire and nothing short of coming back from the dead could get him to loose his British cool.

 

“Did you see a ghost when you looked at me too?” Steph asked, most of the time they all just followed Bruce’s lead so when he rejected her so did everyone else it took Bruce being dead for Barbara to even properly look at her.

 

Alfred almost looked ashamed at her question, which felt wrong on so many levels, like something she wasn’t supposed to see. Alfred was always supposed to be composed and proper in the middle of all their craziness.

 

He couldn’t seem to meet her eyes.

 

“I was a coward Miss Stephanie,” Alfred said his voice quieter than it should ever be, “I was scared to see the child we had all lost, in you and so I neglected one of my most important duties. I promised myself that I would do everything I could in my power to protect and care for the children that came to this house but I failed in this promise with you and I will always regret it”.

 

Of all the ways this night could have gone Steph never imagined that she would have a heart to heart with Alfred, you’d think she’d be all cried out after her ‘talks’ down in the cave but whatever magic butler powers Alfred had could apparently resupply tear ducts because she felt tears pricking at her eyes, she gulped down the now cold tea to try and swallow the sob that was trying to form in her throat and then took a few breaths.

 

Steph knew she had to say something anything but then again this was *Alfred* he was almost a bigger figure of authority than Bruce, he was the man who raised the Batman, she couldn’t just say *anything*.

 

So she said the truth.

 

“Leslie didn’t fake my death,” Steph began quietly her voice barely a whisper and if Alfred hadn’t tensed slightly she would have been worried about him not hearing her.

 

“I died. Actually died; heart stopped, put in the ground, no more me kind of died. Not this super hero BS that we deal on a regular basis now and then I… then I came back, I have no idea how though and believe me I asked everyone I could but I think Jason might have something to do with it because he was there…” and then like a dam had burst Steph told Alfred all the things that she had been keeping secret since the moment she had come back to Gotham.

 

The pain of a Lazarus Pit and the nightmares she still had about it, her time with Jason and the League, Jason leaving her in Africa with Leslie and her guilt about not stopping his revenge plan but she couldn’t bring herself to go back to Gotham yet and Jason wasn’t going to delay his plan any longer so she let him go, him finding her again and again in Gotham and their dinners and rooftop meetings.

 

Happy times, sad times and everything in between all came spilling out and by the time she was done Alfred was sitting besides her, when had they even sat down? Looking very old. This whole thing was probably going to cause him a few new grey hairs.

 

Sorry Alfred.

 

There was a moment of silence where Steph was sure she wasn’t breathing, the air tense and she wished she could take everything she had just said back until Alfred finally broke the silence in a pained voice.

 

“I suppose that would explain why she called Master Jason your ‘brother’”

 

Steph let out a broken laugh.

 

“Yeah… we were both put in the Pit, Talia wasn’t threatening me… she was reminding me of what she helped Jason do” Steph suddenly felt more exhausted than she ever had in her life, she’d never told anyone this except maybe Leslie and even then not all of it still there was one more thing that she wanted to make sure that Alfred knew.

 

“Alfred,” Steph said her voice barely a whisper after all the talking and crying that she had been doing. “Jason isn’t… he has some ideas in his head because of stuff Talia said but he isn’t… Jason’s not *bad* I know he’s done some things but that’s only because he thought it was the right thing to do… Jason’s a good person... I know you haven’t seen him in person since he was Robin but he always looked out for me and took care of me maybe more than any one ever has, he’s, he’s still *good*”

 

Alfred had never looked so tiered and old in front of her before but at the same time he looked grateful.

 

“Miss Stephanie that is a fact that I have never doubted,”

 

\---

 

Back before she had become Oracle, before she had become Batgirl even. Back when the Bat Signal was something new and her dad was criticized for wanting to team up with ‘The Batman’, Barbara’s father, the Commissioner then Captain would tell her ‘Barbara in this city it always pours it never just rains’.

 

She always took that to mean that when something happened in Gotham it usually meant a lot of things happening at once, it could never just be one situation to deal with.

 

There was never just catching criminals, there was figuring out their games and stopping their plots and rescuing hostages.

 

And even here in the confined space of the Bat Cave things couldn’t happen just one at a time.

 

She’d been coordinating with Dick and Damian and looking into the renters of a particular building leading her to various shell companies when Alfred came down a tray of sandwiches in his hands and looking particularly stiff.

 

Bruce gave a small grunt of thanks as Alfred placed the sandwiches next to him not looking up from the data he was inspecting when Alfred finally spoke up “Miss Stephanie has retired for the night,”

 

“You’re sure?” Barbara couldn’t stop herself from asking before wincing slightly “I mean was she… did she seem okay?” Barbara asked feeling exhausted just remembering when Steph was down in the cave.

 

“I believe Miss Stephanie has overexerted herself quite a bit tonight, I doubt she’s truly up for going anywhere,” Alfred responded crisp and to the point before he directed the closest thing Alfred could produce to a glare at Bruce.

 

“Master Bruce you failed to mention to me just how involved Master Jason was in this case,” Alfred’s voice was somehow both loud and quiet all at once the breath being sucked out of the room and Bruce froze.

 

“She told you…” Bruce said in realization already bringing up security camera footage from around the manor.

 

Despite the saying about glass houses and throwing stones Barbara couldn’t help but be frustrated at how easy it was for Bruce to spy in some rooms of the manor. God Steph already didn’t think they respected her what was this breach in privacy going to say?

 

“Indeed she did Sir,” Alfred said crisply when a small alarm took Bruce’s attention. Barbara was about to pull up the Manor security on her on screen to see if Steph had tried to break out when the sound of bikes resounded from the entrance of the cave and Tim and Cass rode back in on their bikes one after the other.

 

“You two were together?” Barbara couldn’t help but ask while Tim took off his cowl, his expression making it clear his thoughts were still focused on whatever he had been looking into.

 

“Met up on the way here,” Cass said with a shrug before looking worried. “Red Hood was at Harper’s place, he was looking for Steph”

 

Barbara felt herself take a sharp intake of breath and not for the first time wondered how much Cassandra saw on her while Tim’s mouth formed a thin, hard line at that piece of information.

 

“Bruce I need to talk to you about something!” Tim’s voice called up but froze when he looked in the direction of the Bat Computer and what had Bruce and Alfred fixated on the screen.

 

“Is anyone going to let me in old man or am I just supposed to stand out here all night?” came a voice from the intercom as the screen showed Jason Todd, the second Robin and the Red Hood standing outside the manor gates.

 

It never just rained it Gotham, it always pours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tim and Bruce feel things, Cass meets her future little brother/ fellow Outsiders member and Steph has a straight up not good time.
> 
> I just want to tell you guys that I like to make up a canon that's sort of a mix of pre and post flashpoint events in the sense that I keep the pre flash point stuff and then add the post flashpoint stuff that I think are cool. It's canon complaint in the sense that it's compliant to the canon I like. But then again making your own timeline is the only way to enjoy comics.
> 
> Which is why Harper's here and so is young pre We Are Robin Duke. Harper's the same age as Steph so they can be room mates while Duke is like 14 here because he's like 16 when Damian is 12 during the events of Robin War and this fic is set just as Dick goes back to being Nightwing so Damian's only 11 right now so Duke's still got a bit before he joins his family.
> 
> As for where what happened to Crystal, Miller said in an interview that before it got canceled the third year of Steph's Batgirl run would have been very angst driven and considering each year of publication is a semester at school let's say that Steph did not have a fun time in her third semester at College I played with some ideas on my tumblr feel free to ask questions here or on tumblr if you want to know more though here's the post were I talk about Steph's third semester of her first year at college. Crystal is out of the picture now because come on it's DC the only time they would ever build up a loving parent is for A. them to be fridged and B. them to be secretly evil and new 52 Crystal decided what path my internal canon took. Also I wanted Harper and Duke to make a cameo, Harper was Bluebird for one semester.
> 
> https://our-happygirl500-fan.tumblr.com/post/187409837073/in-the-batgirl-10th-anniversary-interview-miller

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea I had that wouldn't leave me alone, I know I should be working on other projects but I'm doing this instead. I just really like the idea of Jason and Steph interacting and being friends considering their similarities in their pasts and both being members of the Dead Robins Society


End file.
